Time of Your Life a sequel
by Grommetik
Summary: The sequel to Elephant Love Medley, this is Lily and James' seventh and final year. Unfortunately, the twin conflicts of James' ill mother and a rather slutty Ravenclaw lead to some major problems between the two. A far too fluffy fic. R/R... :)
1. Back to Hogwarts...again.

Author's note: Irritatingly enough, the desire to write a sequel will always get the better of me. It's a bit depressing, but at the time I was writing this I was going through exams so that's understandable. I think it started out okay but towards the end went far too fluffy and teary. Just warning you. By the way, there's even less Peter in this story than in the first one because I read PoA for the fifth time and have renewed hatred for the little grogan. Eugh, peter. (shudder). Anyway, yes, the story lacks a lot of…everything really but I'm posting it up anyway. Why? Because I am insane. No really. I mean it. Please criticise it if you can be bothered to review it at all so I am reminded never to post up such a crappy story ever again. Oh god, I'm depressed just thinking about how much it sucks. That's it. I have to go and eat ice cream now.

Ps. There are some tiny little "sexual references", but that's only because Sirius is so godamn seedy. If you're offended by Sirius, then don't read it.

****

THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE

CHAPTER ONE: BACK TO HOGWARTS

It was a universally acknowledged truth that Lily Evans and James Potter of Hogwarts School of witchcraft and Wizardry were absolutely, completely and totally besotted with each other. Both of them were seventh year Gryffindors, both of them good looking and popular, and both of them were violently in love with the other. It really was amazing the way it turned out, because, until their fifth year at Hogwarts, James and Lily hadn't been able to stand the sight of each other. But it all changed in fifth year, and they decided that their hate for each other was really love, and they'd been together ever since. True, they had their bad arguments just like everyone else, but very rarely, and they were usually in jest anyway. 

In their seventh year, James was made head boy and Lily was made head girl. Both were delighted, of course. There is nothing more satisfying than being given a position of responsibility and finding that your best friend is going to share it with you. And James and Lily shared everything. There was very little that one didn't know about the other. There were one or two things that they kept deep dark secrets, of course. But, for everything else, they trusted each other implicitly. Showing wisdom beyond their years, both of them trusted and respected the other beyond anything or anyone else in their lives. So when James' mother fell ill, that was one of the first things he told Lily when they saw each other for the first time in quite a few weeks, on Platform nine and three quarters, the secret platform in King's Cross Station. Because Lily was from a Muggle family and James a pure blood wizard, they found it very difficult to see each other over the summer break. Lily had been allowed to stay at James' house with his family for one week in the holidays, but aside from that, the separation had been terrible for both of them. They had kept up a constant correspondence using James' owl, Gorgon, but still, when James saw her at King's Cross station he felt like his heart would burst.

"Lily!" he yelled. Lily, who had been fiddling with the latch on her heavy Hogwarts trunk, looked up, saw him, and grinned. James' own face exploded into a grin too. Dropping his trunk, he started jogging towards her, dodging the crowds of Hogwarts students. Lily left her own trunk and started making her way towards him. The two of them leapt into each other's arms and hugged each other tightly. James savoured the moment, breathing in her familiar smell as he planted a kiss on her forehead. They stepped back to look at each other. Lily looked more beautiful than ever. Stunningly pretty with her long red hair and slender figure, Lily attracted looks from boys wherever she went, though she seemed to be blissfully unaware of this. But it was her eyes that melted James- her beautiful, bright green eyes.

James himself had grown again- it seemed he got taller and taller every summer. Now he was a good six feet tall, still lanky though, with a mop of rumpled jet-black hair (he could never get it to lie flat) and blue-grey eyes behind a pair of spectacles. 

He grinned at the girl her loved, feeling the warmth of her body in his arms. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too,' said Lily, giving him a squeeze. She looked up into his eyes and grinned, then kissed him. they grinned at each other again. "God, it's been boring at home," Lily said.

"Same," agreed James. "I was almost missing Potions lessons the other day…"

"Bite your tongue!" Lily said, in mock horror. James chuckled and took her by the hand. "Come, on, I'll help you carry your trunk."

They found their usual compartment at the end of the train empty so they dumped their things inside. They then went walking around the station, hand in hand, catching up on news as they looked for their friends.

"How are things at home?' said James, knowing that Lily was constantly at loggerheads with her muggle family. Lily shrugged, "Mum and dad have been fine. But Petunia kept on trying to read my letters from you." James raised his eyebrows.

"Really? Well…I'm sure she had her reasons."

Lily laughed, "yes, to irritate me. You'd think she would have grown up a bit since she finished school but she's just as nosy as ever. I mean, she considers our neighbour's divorce _her _business!" She shook her head and made a face, 'She gets on my nerves. I'm so glad that that school is starting again."

"Well, if that's what you like…" said James. He coughed into his hand, but it sounded oddly like "_Nerd_!" Lily dug him in the ribs and laughed.

"How's your mum and dad?' she asked eagerly. She had struck up quite a rapport with James' father and mother in her brief visit to the Potter's residence in Dorset, and they both thought Lily was lovely. At the mention of his parents, James stopped grinning. 'Well, dad's fine, but…"

Lily looked at him. "What?"

James sighed. "Mum…she went into hospital last week…nothing really serious!" he said, looking at Lily's face, "they just want to do some tests on her, make sure everything's all right. But still…" He couldn't help worrying. But Lily was her usual sweet self- she understood perfectly. She assured James that it was perfectly normal to worry, and that grown ups got tests done on them all the time as they got older. James was the Potters' only child, and he came to them rather late in life. "Don't worry," Lily said, giving his hand a squeeze. "She'll be fine."

James gave her an adoring smile. Lily was always so level headed- he admired her maturity…even though it did get on his nerves sometimes. But now was one of these times when he was glad that Lily was…well, Lily.

Soon after, they found Sirius Black- James' best friend and partner in crime. If James wasn't with Lily, he was sure to be with Sirius. They were his two favourite people in the world, and he loved them both dearly. It wasn't hard to spot Sirius- he tended to attract a lot of attention wherever he went. Right now he was mooing loudly for no apparent reason.

"Oh- HEY! All right, you two?" Sirius said as they approached him. He flashed them his trademark million-watt grin, which made many of the girls at Hogwarts buckle at the knees. He was an extraordinarily handsome young man, with his dark brown eyes and thick, dark hair. He was as tall as James, but a little more broad shouldered and a little less lanky. He and James were known throughout Hogwarts for their mischief making tendencies, though it was said that the teachers let them get away with a lot. This was true, actually. They were undoubtedly a pair of very charismatic boys, and James' endearing honesty coupled with Sirius' silver tongue had saved them from a lot of detentions over the years. Sirius gave Lily a bear hug, then did the same to James, to his (James's) great embarrassment.

"Really, Padfoot, control yourself!" James laughed, shoving his friend way. 'I know I'm irresistible but really- not in public!"

" All right- I'll save it for the bedroom, shall I?" Sirius cracked. James pretended to vomit.

"Hey-hands off my boyfriend!" Lily said, pretending to be angry. Sirius laughed and pretended to cuddle James.

"Yeuch," said a strongly Irish sounding voice behind them. "Save it for the bedroom, boys!"

It was Evelyn O'Kelly, who had been Lily's best friend since first year. Sandy haired and brown eyed, what Evelyn lacked in height she made up for in spirit. Though she had clearly grown up and calmed down a bit in the past year or so, she was still boisterous and tended to shoot her mouth off a lot, which meant she was constantly getting reprimanded by teachers. Perhaps it was a mix of her Irish family and elfin ancestry, but Evelyn couldn't resist getting into a bit of trouble. Everyone knew that elves were natural mischief makers, though Evelyn's elfin blood in her made her all the more pretty, with her large eyes and dimpled smile. (No one really minded that her ears were a bit pointy.) "All right Lil?" she said, hugging her best friend tightly. "I wish you could've come to stay." 

"Me too!" Lily cried. "But you know…mum and dad."

"I know," laughed Evelyn, rolling her eyes, "Someone should really yank the poles from their arses one of these days."

"Eeew, Evelyn!" Sirius said in disgust. "That's RANK, girl!"

"Not as rank as you smell," Evelyn retorted wittily. "Forgot to shower again this summer?"

"Hey, I showered last November, all right? That should make up my quota for the _decade_."

Evelyn grinned, then hugged him and James. "Remus here yet?" she said, looking around.

James shook his head. "Did you two get the chance top see each other over the summer?"

"Yeah- he came to stay at my place, but said he couldn't stay for longer than a month." She frowned. "Wouldn't give me a straight answer why…"

James and Sirius exchanged a glance. "I think he's been having some problems at home this year," suggested Sirius. 

"Never said anything to me about it," said Evelyn, still searching for Remus among the crowd. Like Lily and James, Evelyn and Remus Lupin, James' other best friend, had been going steady since fifth year. It was Lily's theory that it was the influence of Remus' mild demeanour that had caused Evelyn to calm down. "Speaking of which…" Evelyn said as she spotted someone. "INGRID! OVER HERE!" 

Ingrid Bell, a very tall, very thin girl with black hair and blue eyes had just walked into the station. She was from a pure blood family, and very loyal to them too, since the death of her father quite some time ago. Lily had borrowed James' owl to send her letters a few times but she didn't get any replies. Apparently, neither had anyone else.

'Where on earth have you been, girl!" Evelyn exclaimed, as Ingrid hurried over to them fast she could with her heavy trunk. She hugged Lily and Evelyn tightly, grinning happily.

"We won a daily Prophet competition- a family trip to Bulgaria to see the World Cup! And Ivan came with us too. It was all in the papers, didn't you see?"

James and Sirius' mouths both dropped open. "_You_ saw the WORLD CUP?"

"Actually, only Evan and Ivan went," said Ingrid, 'As mum didn't want to go, so I stayed with her at the hotel. She's not a big fan of Quidditch." Evan was Ingrid older brother, who'd finished school at Hogwarts two years ago, and was currently playing professional Quidditch for the Wimbourne Wasps. Ivan Abbot was Ingrid's boyfriend, a seventh year Ravenclaw who was also captain of his Quidditch team.

"I love _this_," said Lily, ruffling Ingrid's cropped hair. Last time she had seen Ingrid, her long straight hair had been past her shoulders. Now it was feathery and layered, the longest bits reaching just past her chin. It looked great. In fact, Lily could sens a different air around her usually shy friend- she seemed a lot more self confident and assured of her own quiet beauty.

"Thanks," Ingrid grinned. The red Hogwarts express now blew a blast of steam from its engine- the signal for all Hogwarts students to hurry it up a bit.

"Let's go put our stuff on the train- have you two bagsed us a compartment?" Evelyn said, addressing James and Lily.

"The one at the end," said James, pointing to the far end of the train. Evelyn, Ingrid and Sirius hefted their trunks and took them to the far end of the train. No sooner had they left than Remus Lupin finally turned up, looking tired. Remus was the third member of James' little gang, and was as much his best friend as Sirius was. He was fairly good looking, with honest pale green eyes, a lopsided grin, and light brown, wavy hair. He wasn't as tall as James or Sirius, but he was certainly thinner- in fact, Remus was dangerously thin. But it wasn't as though he starved himself- he forced down as much as he could at mealtime. But Remus was one of those people who are perpetually ill, or, as Ingrid put it, "delicate in composition". He was often away from school, sick- or at least, that's what he told his classmates. The fact of it was, if anyone had thought to check the calender, they would have realised that Remus was away once a month- at every full moon. The truth was, Remus Lupin was a werewolf, and had been since he was little. Only James, Sirius and a boy in Gryffindor called Peter Pettigrew knew about it. In their fifth year, James Sirius and Peter had become Animagi- wizards who could transform into animals at will- so that every full moon, they would go and explore the grounds with Remus. It was a very big secret though- if anyone found out the boys had become Animagi illegally all four of them would be in great trouble.

Perhaps it was because of his curse, but Remus, in the first five years that James had known him, had been very introverted and cynical. Since his friends became Animagi though, he had cheered up a lot and his shy demeanour seemed a lot more endearing to his peers.

They called out to him, and Remus looked up, spotted them and grinned. He looked wearier than usual- the great purple bags under his eyes seemed more prominent than ever. But he hefted his trunk and hurried towards them anyway.

"Moony you old sod!" said James, as Remus reached them, "I haven't seen you all summer!"

"I know! Did you miss me?"

"Yeah. In fact, the other day I was about ready to hang myself because I just missed you so much…"

Remus laughed and the two of them shook hands warmly. Then he turned to Lily and hugged her. Remus had always been a favourite of Lily's and the two had remained firm friends all throughout their six years at Hogwarts. James picked up one end of Remus' trunk and helped him carry it to the train.

"So, what have you been up to?" Lily asked as she walked beside them.

"Oh, nothing much…I went to see Evelyn of course," Remus said. 'But I didn't stay for the whole summer…"

"Yes, she said that. Why not?" Lily said, a small frown on her face. James and Remus exchanged a glance. One of the things James had always felt terribly guilty about was not telling Lily about Remus' curse…and his own transforming ability. He didn't know why he didn't tell her- mainly because he knew that she'd get upset that he had broken about a hundred Wizarding laws, and also because Remus wanted as few people to know about his curse as possible. Once James had asked Remus if he could tell Lily- he felt so bad, keeping it from her- but Remus had said, "Not yet…not until I've told Evelyn." Which he obviously hadn't done yet.

"Er…" said Remus, and then conveniently avoided Lily's question by changing the subject. "Where's our compartment?"

"End of the train," James said quickly, pushing Remus and his trunk through the door and leading him down the corridor. They were a few of the last people onto the train. The doors closed, the whistle blew and the steam engine started chugging its way out of the station. People hung out of the windows, waving and yelling goodbyes to their families. And then they were off. 

James and Remus clunked down the corridor, narrowly missing a second year who pelted down the corridor, squealing, closely followed by Jack O'Kelly, who was also a second year.

"Oi! Watch it, Jack!" James exclaimed. 

"Sorry James!" Jack hollered as he sped after his friend. "All right Remus?" he called over his shoulder. "All right!" Remus yelled back.

Jack was Evelyn's younger brother, a mischievous boy of twelve who looked even more elfin than his sister. With his mop of sandy coloured, curly hair, and big dark eyes, though, he was impossible to get mad at. He played pranks, but they were all in good fun, and he never did anything to anyone out of spite. Like Evelyn, he was also in Gryffindor. They reached the compartment and Remus slid it open with his foot.

"REMUS!" James heard Evelyn cry, and suddenly she jumped on Remus, throwing his arms around his neck and smothering his face in kisses. James made his way past them and shoved Remus' trunk in the luggage rack. Lily followed him silently inside and sat down next to Sirius, crossed her legs and stared out the window. There was a bit of a fuss for the next few minutes as everyone else said their hellos to Remus. For a while the compartment was filled with their lively conversation as they caught up on summer news. 

Around lunchtime, the lunch-lady witch came around with the trolley and they all brought food. There was a lull in the conversation as everyone ate. James raised his eyebrows at Sirius, jerking his head discreetly towards Remus. Sirius nodded. They needed to talk to him.

James quickly stuffed the rest of his cauldron cake in his mouth and got to his feet.

'Where're you going?" Lily said, looking up at him.

"I…need to stretch my legs a bit. Coming, boys?" he said casually.

"Sure," Sirius said quickly, brushing crumbs off himself as he too, stood up. "Moony?"

"Er…" said Remus, whose lap Evelyn was currently seated in. "I'm kind of stuck, here."

Evelyn smacked his head. 'I'm not that heavy, yeh bastard."

Remus laughed, "Yeah you are. I think my legs have lost their circulation."

Evelyn gasped, hopped off him and slid onto the set, folding her arms and staring out the window as she did so.

Sirius grinned, "Whack! I think it's best if you come with us now, Moony."

Remus obediently followed James and Sirius out of the compartment. James beckoned them down the train, looking in the windows of each compartment as he did so. Eventually, He found an empty one near the front, and he motioned his two friends into the compartment, then closed the door behind him. Remus looked blank as he saw the identical, grim expressions on James and Sirius' faces. 

"What's up?"

"Remus, when are you going to tell Evelyn that you're a werewolf?" James said, getting straight to the point.

"Oh." Remus looked at the ground guiltily. "So that's it."

"Yeah," said Sirius. " She's got a right to know. Smart girl like that, I'm surprised she hasn't figured it out. I mean, we did."

"And it's not going to be long before she does, too!" James said. "I think she'd appreciate it coming from you, you know."

"I know, of course I do! It's just…" Remus sighed and sat down.

"Just _what_?" Sirius said. 

"Once she knows...what I am…she'll…she'll…"

"-Like you as much as always," said Sirius finishing the sentence for him.

"Oh, get real!" Remus said, looking angry suddenly. "Of course she's not going to want to go out with a _werewolf_! She's as pure blood as anyone, and you know what pure blood Wizarding families are like with werewolves!"

"Remus- what do you think _I_ am?" James said fiercely, "Look-If you don't trust her enough to know that she won't discard you after knowing about your curse, then maybe she's not the girl for you!"

"Of course she is!" Remus said, getting to his feet, "but what about _you_, James, I don't see you volunteering information to Lily!"

"I…" James said.

"James can't tell Lily about being an Animagi until you want _her_ to know that you're a werewolf- and you won't let James tell her without telling Evelyn first!" Sirius interrupted, "It's all up to you Moony! But I tell you what," he turned to both of them, "both of you can't live this lie much longer. It's up to you when you start being honest."

"I know…I know…" Remus said, putting his hands over his face. Sirius watched him impassively for a moment, then sighed. 

"I know you know," he said clapping his friend on the back. "But when you're ready, let us know, mate. I know I'm not the only person who's gonna feel a lot better."

*

Soon after, the compartment door slid open and Sirius walked in, followed by Remus. Evelyn jumped on Remus, having barely been able to stand the separation.

""Where's James?" said Lily, trying not to watch Remus and Evelyn snogging.

"I…don't know," said Sirius, looking over his shoulder. "He _was_ right behind us."

"He went to the bathroom," Remus said, coming up for air.

"Oh," said Lily, getting to her feet. "I'll go get him, shall I?"  
"What, from the boy's toilets?" Sirius said, raising his eyebrows.

Lily shrugged. 'I need to go to the bathroom anyway," she said, smirking. Sirius laughed as she left the compartment. She wandered down the train corridor in the direction of the bathrooms, but stopped when she saw James, facing away from her and talking amiably to someone. She moved closer and, as she did so, felt a stab of jealousy as she saw exactly _who_ he was talking to: Stephanie Brocklehurst. 

A seventh year Ravenclaw student, Stephanie was undoubtedly one of the prettiest girls in the year. She had wavy black hair and large hazel eyes framed by thick, luscious eyelashes. She was an inch taller than Lily, and her curvy figure was the envy of many of the girls and the lusting-point for many of the boys. Lily sometimes thought that Stephanie should have been sorted into Slytherin, as she was certainly ambitious when it came to climbing the social ladder at Hogwarts. Stephanie was notorious for only picking the most popular, most good looking guys to go out with, and James Potter, who was extremely popular and even more good looking, was one she had never been able to snag. (Mainly because he was infatuated with Lily.)

Nevertheless, Stephanie's many attempts to flirt with James did not go unnoticed by Lily, and hence she felt a certain sense of insecurity when dealing with Stephanie. She hadn't mentioned this to James of course; she knew jealousy was very petty and tried to convince herself that Stephanie was no competition. Besides, why on earth would James succumb to her charms when Lily knew that he was in love with her?

She walked towards them, noting Stephanie's red-lipped smile and how she fluttered eyelashes- could she be any more obvious, Lily wondered?

"Have you grown? I think you have!" she could hear Stephanie saying delightedly as Lily drew nearer.

"Well, I have been eating more," said James, shrugging his lanky shoulders. He heard Lily approach, turned, and grinned. "Hey!" he said, putting an arm around her and planting a kiss on top of her head. Lily forced herself to smile at Stephanie.

"Hi Stephanie- you look great," she added, in a friendly manner. Stephanie's eyes narrowed ever so slightly- not slightly enough though, for Lily spotted it.

"Thanks Lily -You haven't changed a _bit_! You haven't lost weight, have you?"

Lily didn't miss the barb in that comment.

"I wouldn't want her to change for anything," said James, pecking her on the cheek. "She's perfect."

Lily felt a warm glow spread from her toes up through her chest, She loved James so much sometimes- it was all she could do to keep herself from throwing her arms around him right then. Stephanie gave them an acid smile- obviously her flirting wasn't getting her anywhere.

"How…sweet. Well, anyway," she said, shrugging and smiling, "I should be getting back to my compartment. I didn't finish that potions essay- I was just having such a great time over the summer! Did _you_ finish that essay, Lily?"

"Yes," said Lily, cautiously.

"Oh, wow, I wish I had as much time as _you_ on my hands! But you know me- party, party, party!" She laughed. 

James smiled. "See you later Stephanie," he said. She glanced over her shoulder at him, smiled, and gave a little wave. "She's nice," said James brightly, as they turned and started making their way back to their compartment.

"Yeah, sure," said Lily half-heartedly. James glanced sideway at her.

"I meant it, you know."

"Meant what?" said Lily.

"I don't' want you to change…you're perfect. To me, anyway."

Lily stopped walking suddenly, and put her arms around him. "Likewise," she murmured into his shoulder. James hugged her back, tightly. She leaned up and kissed him. James was surprised, but pleased, obviously.

"What was that for?" he said, smiling and going pink.

"I missed you…a lot," she said. James grinned down at her.

"And you have no idea how much more I missed you." He paused, looking into her eyes. "I still love you, you know."

"I know. And I still love you."

James' grin broadened. 'And you always will, right?"

She laughed. "Always, James, always."

(Author's comment: Oh my god, this story is so corny. Burn it. Burn it now.)


	2. Green-Eyed Girl

****

CHAPTER TWO: GREEN EYED GIRL

The rest of the train journey back to Hogwarts passed fairly quickly. When they got back to their beloved school, they all assembled in the Great hall at their house tables and watched the new first years being sorted into houses. Then of course, there was the announcement of the student council. From each house from fifth year and upwards, two representatives were chosen, one girl and one boy. In addition, there was also the head girl and boy. James and Lily hadn't told Sirius, Remus, Evelyn and Ingrid about their new positions yet, having decided they would leave it a surprise. After all the Prefects had been called to stand in front of the teachers table, Professor Dumbledore, the beloved headmaster of Hogwarts, paused in his announcement to gaze at the school with his twinkling blue eyes.

"And now," he said, 'I have the utmost pleasure in announcing the head Girl and boy for this year. Both of Gryffindor house-" Sirius turned to stare at James and Lily with his mouth hanging open "-James Potter and Lily Evans!"

The applause was tumultuous. Lily sat frozen in her seat for a moment, amazed by how loud it was. Then James was pulling her up, taking her hand and leading her across the Great hall to professor Dumbledore. He shook James warmly by the hand and kissed Lily on the cheek. "Well done," he said to both of them, "Very, _very_ well done."

They both thanked him and stood next to all the other Prefects, hand in hand. Everyone was still clapping. By now most of the school was on its feet. Lily could see Evelyn standing on the table, whooping so hard that she fell over backwards and had to be caught by Remus. Dumbledore waited until the applause had died down.

"I will not conceal from you all that I have the utmost faith in the talent, dedication and responsibility of our prefects, and our head boy and girl in particular. Look upon them, not just as your new leaders, but as your friends. Remember- they can only encourage you if you are encouraged to encourage them." A ripple of laughter passed through the school, and Dumbledore beamed. "And now I just have one thing left to say to you all: Tuck in!"

More applause as the food appeared on the table, as well as golden plates, knives and forks. Students started loading their plates with food, but Sirius jumped to his feet and ran to meet Lily and James coming back to their seats.

"Why didn't you tell me you bastard!" he said smacking James over the head. He then bear hugged him and Lily simultaneously. "God, you two are crafty."

"Yes thank you, we know." James said, grinning

They took their places at the table, grinning hugely. Lily couldn't remember feeling this happy for a long, long time. Right then, she felt as though she could've flown.

"Do you know how good its going to be with you two in control?" Sirius was saying as he crammed mashed potato down his throat.

"How good?' asked Lily.

Sirius stared at her, a huge potatoey grin spread across his face. "We'll have the time of our lives, Lily- the time of our lives."

*

Seventh year students at Hogwarts took their N.E.W.T s- Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Levels- and it was something Lily had been dreading since she first heard about it. They were the most important exams _ever_, and Lily wholly intended to pass with flying colours. Unfortunately, that was something she couldn't do without studying at least twenty-two hours a day, seven days a week. Lily had a lot of natural cleverness- she was actually very intelligent but didn't have enough confidence in her own abilities to take a break from studying. In addition, as well as the ordinary subjects that every one did (Transfiguration, Potions, Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology and History of Magic), Lily did four extra subjects instead of just two like everyone else: Divination, Study of Ancient Runes, Care of Magical Creatures and Arithmancy. She had become a little more relaxed since fifth year but now, seeing the stack of homework they got on the very first day, Lily realised that she would have to pick up the pace and study more than ever.

James, however, was a far different story. He was also very intelligent. He knew this, he was proud of this, and took it as an excuse not to study, and the same went for Sirius. Remus and Ingrid took a more cautious road than this, though Evelyn didn't. 

From time to time, James would send Gorgon off with a letter to his father, and he would send it back describing his mother's progress. Mrs. Potter was only getting worse and worse. She had a form of pneumonia, but Mr. Potter didn't want to send her to a wizard doctor because, according to the doctors it was such a rare strain of the disease they needed to treat her very carefully. Also, the last time Mrs. Potter had gone to a wizard doctor she had returned with her ears fused onto her kneecaps. Hence, she had been put into a muggle hospital, against Mr. Potter's wishes but it was something she insisted on.

This was yet another reason James didn't feel like working. Sirius and Remus knew about his mother of course, as did Lily. But he couldn't sit down and concentrate while Lily was in the room anyway, and certainly not while he knew his mother was lying sick in a Muggle hospital miles away.

And so, that was how the first weeks of term passed, with Lily working so hard it was scary and James becoming even more lazy than usual. It was partly because of his attitude to work that Lily became snappish with him, which caused a few arguments between the two of them over the weeks. They all followed the same structure, though; Lily would be studying, James wouldn't be. He would try and convince her to take a break, she would get angry, and James would accuse her of caring more about study than she did of him. Lily would get even angrier, telling him he was being ridiculous, and that he _knew _she loved him. Of course then the argument would end, because James would be so happy that he was reassured of this fact he would say "okay!" and kiss her. Then she would get back to work and James would get back to being silly with Sirius and Evelyn.

But…

One night as it neared midnight and the common room emptied itself of Gryffindor students in groups, soon it was just the six of them left.

"Well," said Ingrid, yawning as she stood up, 'I'm off to bed."

"Me too, I think." Evelyn said. "Coming, Remus?"

"Yeah!" said Remus getting up. She laughed.

"You wish, boyo." But she gave him a great big kiss and a hug, then wished James, Sirius and Lily goodnight, knowing that it was pointless to try and get her friend to stop studying before one o'clock anyway.

It had gotten a lot colder, as the term had progressed, and there was seldom a day when it didn't rain, turning the lake in the grounds a murky brown and the sky outside grey and cloudy. Sirius watched the sleet hitting the windows for a while, then announced he was off to bed too. Remus followed suit, and then it was just James and Lily. 

James watched her for a while, her brow furrowed with concentration, the candlelight flickering over her face. It hadn't been a very good week for them- they had been arguing more than usual. He wanted to apologise…but every fibre in his body told him to resist doing that. As much as he loved Lily, his stubbornness hadn't moved an inch since they began going out. However unreasonable it seemed, James Potter would never give in. Okay, so he had given in to Lily once or twice. But that was only because she was so beautiful, He couldn't resist her when she looked at him with those eyes of hers…

Lily felt his gaze, looked up, smiled furtively and got back to her work. James stood up, walked around so her was behind her, and put his arms around her. He felt her body tense up at once.

"James, please don't."

"Don't what?" he said, giving the back of her neck a kiss.

"_Don't._" she said, in a firmer tone of voice. "I need to concentrate."

"And I _can't_ concentrate," James murmured into her hair, "Not while you're here."

"Well then, go away!" Lily snapped. James blinked and stood up immediately. 

"Right," he said. "Okay."

"James…" sighed Lily, getting to her feet, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you."

James paused at the foot of the staircase, feeling angry, "You never do- or at least, that's what you keep saying. But you keep on doing it!"

"I…know…." Lily said uncertainly. James turned around to face her. She was looking ambivalent about something. "Look, I…I've been thinking for a while, and…"

"Yeees?" said James raising his eyebrows slowly.

She walked to the steps and sat down on the third one. James joined her. She took a deep breath and clasped his hand in hers. "James," she said, looking into his face. "Look. I…care for you _so_ much, I mean…I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you. You've done so much for me, and I love you, and I will always, always care for you, whatever happens. Okay? Always."

James felt an unpleasant feeling in his stomach. "…But?" he said stonily.

"But," said Lily, "Right now…I really need to concentrate. And well, to put it frankly- you're a terrible distraction."

"I'm a distraction." James repeated.

"Yes, yes you are!" Lily said sadly. "And I really wish you weren't but I think that, until the homework load decreases a bit, then we should…"

James' insides felt as though they had been filled with lead. "Take a break?" he said, raising his eyebrows so high they disappeared into his fringe.

"Noo…" said Lily slowly. "Just…cool off for a little while."

"Cool off?" James repeated.

"Yes!" She smiled, then saw his face and the smile was replaced with an anxious expression. "Look, James…I know this is incredibly selfish of me."

"Just a bit," James said dryly.

"But I really need this time, you see," she said, pretending not to have heard him, "I don't want to break up, and this isn't a step towards breaking up, all right? It's a just…a cooling off period." She looked up at his stony expression. "James," she said anxiously, "Please understand. Please don't get mad…."

"What do you expect me to do?" James said softly, "You just called me a distraction. Is that all I am? Like…like a bug or something?"

"No! Not at all, I'm just saying that…oh god, I don't know what I'm babbling about."

"Me neither. But if you want to break up I'd rather you just said…"

"What did I just say?" Lily said, her eyes flashing, "I said I didn't want to break up! And I don't, all right? I love being with you."

"Then why are you telling me to go away?"

"Because we can't be together all the time!" Lily cried. "We _both_ need to concentrate right now, and I think this will do us a lot of good." She stood up. "I'm going to bed…"

James stood up too. He had the stoniest expression on his face. "I still love you," he called after her as she went up the stairs.

Lily stopped, turned around and smiled. "I know," she said, coming down again. She took his face in her hands and kissed him tenderly on the forehead, ruffling his hair as she slid her hand up his face. "But…I just don't need to be told that on the hour, every hour."

She walked off up the staircase. James sat heavily down on the step, and put his head in his hands.

*

"Cool _off_?" Sirius repeated incredulously.

It was the next evening, up in the boys' dorms. James was lying on his bed with his head under his pillow. Sirius was sitting on his bed, which was next to James', with a bag of Bertie Botts' Every Flavour beans, with wide eyes.  
"Did she say anything else?" Sirius asked. "About, like "taking a break"?"

"She said she didn't want to have one," said James from under his pillow.

"You know what I think?" Sirius said, "I think this is like, _her _way of asking for a break. How do you "cool off"?"

"I don't know!" James said angrily, pulling the pillow off his face and rolling onto his back. "What does she want me to do, walk around fanning myself or dropping ice cubes down her back? It's ridiculous!"

Sirius laughed. Then seeing the expression on James' face, he returned to seriousness. 'Look…I'm sure that if she said she doesn't want to break up, she doesn't want to. I mean, come on, man! She loves you, doesn't she? Did she tell you that last night?"

James cast his mind back to the conversation. 'She said she…cares for me."

'Oh…." Sirius said. 'Well…er…I still love you!"

"Thanks," said James, giving his friend a dirty look. "Thanks ever so much." He let out another groan, and fell back on his pillow, wondering why on earth he was taking relationship advice from _Sirius_, of all people. Not that he didn't respect the opinion of his friend, but Sirius' track record with girls wasn't that good. Since he was fourteen, Sirius had had a string of relationships of varying torridity. Most of them ended with Sirius telling the object of his affections that, "it wasn't working out," or, "I don't feel ready for this sort of commitment," or, "can we still be friends?". And they were. Sirius' undoubtable charm was what made him so popular with the girls, and though he broke up with nearly every single girlfriend, he still managed to remain friends with most of his exes, somehow.

Sirius stared at hid friend sympathetically for a few moments, then grinned and leapt to his feet. "I have an idea to take your mind off it! Let's go post up the audition notices about the new chasers that we need! Come on, Quidditch season starts soon!"

James thought for a moment and consented. "All right."

"Ye-ess," Sirius said, dumping the half-full bag of Bertie Botts' every flavour beans down on his bed. "Then let's go to Honeydukes. I'm almost all out."

James played chaser on the team, and Sirius played beater. James had been captain of the Quidditch team ever since Bilius Weasley left two years ago. It had been his job to find a new seeker (Bilius' old position), and a new beater, after Evan bell, Ingrid's older brother, left that year as well. The previous year had been James's fellow chasers Frank Longbottom and Helena van Tassell's last year at Hogwarts, so now the Gryffindors were two players short of a team. James happened to be an astoundingly good Quidditch player, and had been on the team since his second year at Hogwarts.

They made their way downstairs and into the common room- James instinctively searched the room with his eyes for Lily as soon as he was in there. She looked up when they came in- their eyes met and she gave James a furtive smile. James managed a twisted smile back. He wasn't feeling too friendly towards her at the moment. Evelyn and Ingrid both looked up and gave them a wave- Remus wasn't there. He was "ill", but due to return that night, as yesterday night had been the last night of the full moon.

They went downstairs to the entrance hall, where there was a noticeboard, free for all students to use. James scanned the messages as Sirius wrote their audition notice. People had lost a quill, a cat and a copy of _The Invisible Book of Invisibility_; someone else had found a set of silver Gobstones and a teacup that bit your nose. A seventh year Ravenclaw was offering themselves as tutor in Charms. There's an idea, though James, that'd be a way to make some extra gold. Sirius looked over James' shoulder as he tacked up the message.

"LOST: One toad. Answers to Olaf. If found, please return to Ludovic Bagman, third year Hufflepuff," he read aloud. He snorted with laughter. "Toads don't answer to anything! They can't talk."

"'Course they do. Snape talks, doesn't he?"

"Ah, of course," Sirius grinned. "Silly me, I forgot." He tacked up the message next to the Lost toad one. James read it aloud.

"Urgent: Chasers needed for Gryffindor Quidditch team. For auditions, speak to James Potter or Sirius Black. Good looking female preferred- Sirius!"

Sirius started laughing. "Come on, you can't blame me for trying."

"Aren't two girls on the team enough for you, you horny bastard?" James said, grinning despite himself, as he ripped the poster off the wall and started writing another one. The girls he was referring to were their replacement seeker and keeper. Their seeker was a black fourth year by the name of Sarem Johnson. Small, light and speedy, Sarem had guaranteed Gryffindor's chances for the cup since she joined the team after Bilius left. Their keeper was a tall, blonde sixth year with deep brown eyes named Celestia Goodman. She had joined the team the year after James and hardly ever let the Quaffle get past her. Indeed, Gryffindor had been on something of a winning streak for quite a while now- since James joined the team in fact. "Sarem's too young, anyway," Sirius said, running a hand through his thick, shiny hair. 'I'm no cradle snatcher."

"I wouldn't put it past you," James grunted, fanning his hand over the ink to make it dry quicker. "Check out that," he added nodding to the notice about tutoring. "What do you reckon?"

Sirius read the notice under his breath. "Hmm…I dunno," he said slowly. "They haven't written their name down. What if I sign up for tutoring and it's not a girl?"

James groaned. "Is that all you think about, git? I didn't mean _sign up_ for tutoring. I mean what do you think of me hiring myself out as a tutor?"

Sirus raised his eyebrows. "In what?"

"I dunno. whatever. Transfiguration I suppose."

Sirius shrugged. "Sure, whatever turns you on."

James rolled his eyes as he tacked up the audition notice. "Why must you be so seedy?"

Sirius gave him his trademark grin. "Some people find it charming."

"Well, I know you well enough to know that you're just trying to get laid."

Sirius snickered. "I cannot tell a lie, I did it with my little-"

"Oh, hi there James," said a voice behind them. James turned to see the voluptuous figure of Stephanie Brocklehurst sashaying towards them.

"Hi Stephanie. How's it going?" James said. He had noticed, in he previous weeks, an increasing amount of attention from Stephanie. Not that he minded, of course, it was just that sometimes he got the feeling that Stephanie was almost flirting with him. Surely she knew that he was with Lily? Everyone knew that…but did _he_? After Lily's proposal to "cool off"…he wasn't sure any more. Was Sirius right, and could it really be a step towards breaking up? James didn't want to think about it.

Sirius, meanwhile, was looking uncomfortable, as he always did in Stephanie's presence. Last year, while Sirius had been engaged in a relationship with someone else, Stephanie had thrown herself at him, leaving Sirius no option but to politely but firmly turn her down. Since then, Stephanie's demeanour towards Sirius had been less than friendly. Sirius often remarked that fighting ten or so dragons would be nothing compared to being left alone in a room with Stephanie Brocklehurst and a butcher's knife. 

"Oh, just fine!" she said, flashing him a radiant smile, 'What are you two pinning up on the notice board?"

"Auditions for our new chasers," James said, "Quidditch season's coming up soon, you know."

"Oh of course I do, I can't wait!" Stephanie laughed. "You know, Ivan's already been training for two weeks." Ivan Abbot was the captain of the Ravenclaw team, and a chaser like James.

"Really?" James said. "Oh, Jesus…umm…"

Sirius kicked James in the back of his leg. 'What James means to say is- so have we. In fact, we've been training for three weeks already."

"Oh really?' said Stephanie, giving Sirius the venom filled look she reserved just for him. 'So how come you're auditioning chasers just now?"

"Er…" said James.

'Well, James is so good, you see, that we thought we'd be able to handle the season with just him as chaser. Then we decide that, well, we might as well seal our chances for the cup with two more players."

"Oh James," said Stephanie, immediately looking like sunshine again. "I didn't realise you were that good! Wow, how amazing!" She gave a tinkly little laugh.

"Mmm," said James uncomfortably. He hated lying to anyone. "Well we'd better go. Oh, wait," he said, struck by a sudden though, "Stephanie, you're in Ravenclaw- d'you know who wrote this?" He pointed to the nameless tutor notice. "Oh- well, I did!" she said, smiling. "Why, are you thinking of getting tutored?"

"Nah, course not. I was just gonna say…it's a good idea. I might try it myself."

"Really? What subject?"

"Transfiguration…"

"What a _coincidence_!" Stephanie exclaimed. "Transfiguration is the subject I'm having trouble with! Say you'll tutor me, won't you James?" She batted her eyelashes at him, putting a hand on his arm as she did so. James noticed Sirius rolling his eyes behind Stephanie's shoulders. James nodded. Stephanie looked as though she'd just won a million galleons.

"Oh, _great_!" she exclaimed. "Okay, tomorrow after dinner, in the library, okay? I'm looking forward to it!" She gave a flirtatious giggle, squeezed his arm and skipped out of the entrance hall. James watched her go. Sirius stuck two fingers down his throat and pretended to vomit.

"Gross me _out_," he spat.

"What?" said James, mounting the steps out of the Hall. 'What's so gross?"

" What's so gr- James, the only way she could be any _more_ obvious about wanting to get in your pants is to dack you and try them on!" Sirius exclaimed. "Can't you tell?"

"What?" James exclaimed incredulously. "Don't be ridiculous Sirius- I'm going out with Lily."

"You hope," said Sirius dryly. "And anyway- that won't stop her. She's a slut."

"Sirius!" James exclaimed. "Don't say that!"

Sirius shrugged. "I wouldn't call anyone that if it weren't true. And I should know." He shook his head and lowered his voice, "Besides, tomorrow night you promised to help peter with his Potions assignment."

"Oh, damn, I forgot," James sighed. "Well… look, we I'm sure she won't keep me that long, will she?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows at James. "What do _you _think? Let's see, how long does she usually take to undress someone?"

James scowled. "Don't think that. Anyway, even if she _were_ after me- which I doubt- I wouldn't do anything. I'm not about to cheat on Lily just because we're…"

"Cooled off?' Sirius said for him, as they mounted the marble staircase. "Look, I wouldn't worry about it, I'm sure-" he stopped, and looked around.

"What?" said James imitating him. 

but Sirius was glaring at someone who had just come out of the dungeon entrance to the Slytherin common room. Severus Snape, as a matter of fact. Snape was James' and Sirius' nemesis. They had hated each other practically from the moment they met, and nothing had changed for the seven years that James had known him. Snape was a tall, thin seventh year Slytherin, also a prefect, with greasy black hair and a hooked nose between malicious black eyes. Until recently, Snape had been one of the wizards that were prejudiced against people who weren't pure blood wizards or witches- who had parents who were Muggles. As Sirius and Lily both muggle born, there had always been friction between James' gang and Snape. As it happened, most of the Slytherins were prejudiced just like Snape, and hence, all the other houses detested Slytherin house. 

As Snape saw James and Sirius, he sneered derisively. "Potter, Black…" he said. "Everything well, I trust?"

"Unfortunately for you, big nose," said Sirius pleasantly. 

"Where's your pal Lupin? Is he…_ill_, again?"

James and Sirius exchanged a very brief glance. "Why is it your business?"

Snape raised his eyebrows "I just find it odd that none of the teachers mind that Lupin is away so frequently. Every month, in fact."

James clenched his teeth. "Sod off, you git. You're talking absolute rubbish."

Snape shrugged. "Suit yourself, Potter. I'll find out myself."

He loped off, leaving Sirius and James staring after him.

"Okay," said Sirius finally, "There's no need to panic. So Snape's figured out the pattern of Remus' illnesses. No problem."

"Of course he figured it out," James hissed, as he turned and started marching up the stairs. "He's not stupid!" 

Sirius sprang up the steps two at a time after him.

"That doesn't mean to say he knows what Remus is," said Sirius soothingly.

"But how many other people have figured it out?" James said anxiously. "What if someone guesses?"

"It's all right. We'll just tell everyone Remus is really a girl and gets his periods."

That was enough to crack James up for the rest of the night.


	3. And Again, the Beast...

****

CHAPTER THREE: AND AGAIN, THE BEAST…

By the time dinner was over that night, James and Sirius already had a list of thirteen people willing to try out for chasers, and by the next morning, the list had grown to over thirty., the next day, being Saturday, James announced in the common room that he and Sirius would be trying out potential chasers all day.

At ten o'clock that day, the Gryffindor Quidditch team (and Remus, for some reason), followed by a crowd of wannabes, made its way down on to the pitch. James sat in the stands with a clipboard with the list of names and a megaphone, with the rest of the team behind him. Sirius' fellow beater, a stocky red haired fourth year named Jonas Swank, was circling the pitch on his Shooting Star broom, holding the red Quaffle in his hands.

"All right," James said through the megaphone, as the gaggle of hopefuls assembled on the pitch, "I'm going to call out your names one by one. You have to mount the broom, and try and catch the Quaffle that Jonas throws to you. I just want you to show me some passes back and forth, all right? Okay, first is…" he referred to the list in his hand and stared laughing, "First is Evelyn O'Kelly."

Indeed, Evelyn had been the first person to sign up. James had the idea it was for a joke, as she swaggered onto the pitch with a huge grin on her face.

"Okay Eve, show us watch you got."

Evelyn grinned and winked at him. Of course, she had only ridden about five feet into the air when she fell off the broom and landed with a resounding clunk on the pitch. Remus leapt to his feet.  
"EVELYN!" he yelled in horror, leaping down the steps. He vaulted himself over the barrier and onto the pitch. Sirius was flailing about in laughter as Remus sprinted across the pitch while the rest of the wannabes stared in disbelief. Evelyn, meanwhile, had got to her feet and merely looked bewildered as Remus threw his arms a round her and babbled at her.

"Er, Remus...get off the pitch please." James said into the megaphone, attempting not to laugh. Remus realised that he was acting a little stupid and Evelyn led him off the pitch amid the snickers of the try outers.

"Right. Good try, Eve," said James. "Next, please…"

And so it went on. It was hard to believe that anyone could be worse than Evelyn, but, actually, there were quite a few people worse. In fact, there were quite a few head injuries on the pitch that day. James got more and more exasperated while Sirius got more and more bored and started chatting up Celestia Goodman.

"Can't anyone in this school fly a _broom_?" Sarem said impatiently, as yet another try outer fell off their broom in a desperate attempt to reach the Quaffle that Jonas threw to them. "I mean, honestly! This is pathetic!" 

James had to agree. By the end of the day, though, after they had sent all the wannabes away telling them the announcement would be made in the common room that night, they had found their new chasers. One was a girl James knew by sight but had never spoken to, a fifth year named Liela Astonbury. She had olive skin and long curly black hair, and had shown some talent on her broom, and had caught all the passes Jonas threw at her. The other chaser was jack O'Kelly. James had been absolutely stunned when jack had hopped on the broom and started zooming around the pitch as though he were made for Quidditch. He was light and speedy, but there was enough strength in his arms to throw the Quaffle at least halfway across the pitch. 

Exhausted, James and Sirius led the way back to the castle by the light of the setting sun. It was the end of spring, now, and the weather had gotten a lot colder. The wind whipped their robes around their ankles and sent dead leaves flying everywhere. Jonas, Sarem and Celestia wished James and Sirius goodbye and hurried ahead, wrapping their cloaks around themselves to keep warm.

"Well," yawned Sirius, "At least we've got a full team now. We'd better start training them straight away."

"Yeah, no kidding," James answered, thinking of what Stephanie had said to them yesterday. He wondered if there was any truth in what she'd said, about Ravenclaw already training for three weeks. Then, thinking about Stephanie, he remembered his promise to her yesterday. "Oh, damn…"

"What?"

"I promised Stephanie I'd tutor her in transfiguration…"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Bet you regret it _now,_ don't you?"

"Well, yeah. I'm too tired…" he groaned.

"Hey, Hagrid!" said Sirius suddenly. James looked up to where Hagrid, the Hogwarts gamekeeper, was strolling towards them. Hagrid was a giant of a man, at least eight feet tall, with a tangled wiry mess of hair and beard, and beetle black eyes that twinkled when he smiled. Though frightening in appearance, James knew Hagrid to be one of the kindest people he had ever met. James had known Hagrid ever since first year, when he and Sirius had ventured into the Forbidden forest and had accidentally provoked an elderly unicorn (Sirius had mistook its horn for a tree branch and attempted to snap it off). It had been Hagrid who'd rescued them and subdued the unicorn and hadn't been too severe with them. It would probably have been better if Hagrid _had_ given them a reprimanding, for t gamekeeper had since had to pull the duo out of the forest no less the eight seven times.

"All right you two?" said Hagrid as he joined them. "Goin' up to the castle?"

"Yeah," said Sirius as they continued walking. "What's that for?" he asked pointing to the medium sized pumpkin that Hagrid was holding in one of his shovel sized hands.

"Ar, Perfessor Dumbeldore's bin teachin' me how to do an Engorgement Charm," said Hagrid, "I jus' need his help fer a bit."

James noticed, in Hagrid's other hand, was the pink umbrella in which (James suspected) he had concealed the two pieces of his wand, which the Ministry had snapped in half after Hagrid was expelled from Hogwarts in his third year for an unknown reason.

Sirius grinned. "And Dumbledore really lets you?"

"Well, he got me permission from the Ministry, dinn't he?" said Hagrid proudly, "Took 'im ages to explain I was only ter use it fer me gamekeepin' duties an' all that'…eventually they let 'im. But he's got to keep a strict watch, mind."

"So why do you want to enlarge a pumpkin anyway?" James said.

"Fer the Hallowe'en feast, o' course!' Hagrid said. "Should be good. Got four more o' these back at me cabin. Bigger, though." He added. He smiled at James then. "Bu' I haven't had the chance to congratulate yeh, James! Head Boy an' all!"

"Thanks, Hagrid…"

"I was mighty pleased when I heard. You an' Lily! Perfect match," he said, grinning.

"Uh, yeah…" said James. 

"I mean to congratulate her as soon as I see 'er. Well done to the both of yeh!" He gave James an enthusiastic clap on the back, which caused him to stumble to his knees. Sirius quickly hoisted him back up.

"I got to tell yeh, I was a bit worried they'd give it to tha' Slytherin bloke for a moment," Hagrid said, his expression darkening. "What's his name? The dark haired boy?"

"Snape," supplied Sirius, as James attempted to catch his breath.  
"Ar, that's the one," Hagrid said, frowning. His face brightened up though, as he looked down at James "Bu', no, you an' Lily got it, just as yeh please. Makes me glad to know that the pure bloods don't exhibit the same sort o' control they used to."

"What do you mean?" said James.

"Well, ten years ago they never would'a let a muggle born witch become head Girl," Hagrid said, as they reached the entrance hall and mounted the steps. "No mat'er how much talent they had. Bu' now look at yeh!" he said, smiling. "The two o' you- such a perfect pair! Brings a tear to my eye…"

"Uh-huh," James said, blushing a little. _But we're not so perfect…_ James thought, _we're not perfect together at all. We can't be, because…well she never would've asked to cool off, otherwise._

They left Hagrid at the Great hall, and went up the marble staircase to the Gryffindor common room. But their encounter with Hagrid left James feeling very confused indeed. He wondered if everyone saw them that way- perfect. That was impossible. He had lots of faults- and one of them, according to Lily, was being distracting, which is why she wanted to "cool off". No one was perfect. The common room was crowded, as it often was before dinner, and Sirius nudged James in the ribs. Time to make the announcement.

"SHUT UP EVERYONE!" Sirius yelled into the chatter. Of course Sirius had such a loud voice that it didn't take long for everyone to settle down. James stood on a table and waited for all eyes to turn his way. "Your Head Boy has an announcement to make," said Sirius pompously. "Please bow before him and praise his na- OW!" a few people giggled as James kicked Sirius in the side of the head. 

"Shut up, Padfoot," he said, "um, yeah, sorry for the interruption everyone but we've got the new chasers to announce." The murmurs immediately died down. 

"Okay, first of all thanks to everyone who tried out. You all did really well- except you, Evelyn-" more giggles as Evelyn got up and bowed. (Lily who was sitting next to Evelyn, caught his eye and gave him a tentative smile. James didn't return it) "And, it took us a little while but we've come to a decision. Right," he paused. There was anticipation from every corner of the room. "The new chasers are, fifth year, Leila Astonbury-" he waited for the applause to start and die down. Leila clapped to hands to her mouth and gave an excited squeal. "And, the newest, youngest member of our team- Jack O'Kelly." Jack, who had been holding his breath, exhaled and grinned gratefully at James. James winked at him and hopped down from the table. In the flurry of activity that succeeded the announcement James and Sirius made their way over to where Remus, Evelyn, Ingrid and Lily were sitting.

"Phew, glad that's over," James said. He grinned as he spotted the bandaids on both of Evelyn's elbows. "Hurt yourself much?"

"A little," said Evelyn, making a face. "Got another two on my knees."

"I'm not surprised. You _did_ hit the ground pretty hard."

Remus, looking pained, stroked her hair gently. "You know you can't fly a broom. You shouldn't have tried."

"Ah, you're making a bug fuss over nothing," Evelyn said, batting his hand away. 

"I'm not! You could've been _seriously_ hurt!"

"As if," scoffed Evelyn.

"You could've!"

"No way!"

They continued bickering for a while as the rest listened in contented silence. As it was nearing Halloween, the teachers felt that their students had had enough for a while, and they had little homework tonight. 

James seated himself next to Lily, who was sitting on Evelyn's other side, reading a book. It was unusual to see her not working for once- to see her perfectly calm and serene, her beautiful eyes half closed, a smile playing over her lips as she read her book. James was struck, not for the first time, by just how beautiful she really was. 

He gave her a gentle nudge. "Hi…"

She looked up and smiled, again, it was a tentative smile, unsure if her would return it.

"Hi," she said.

"How're you going?"

"Fine," she said, still smiling, "and you?" 

"Okay," he said, shrugging.

"Good," said she, and turned back to her book. James leaned back in his chair, feeling helpless. Were things going to become this awkward between them? He wanted to regain a sense of normality but now wondered if that was going to be possible. 

Impulsively, he reached over and took her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it.

To his utmost relief Lily didn't get angry. Quite the contrary, she looked relieved.

"I've missed you," she said immediately.

"What d'you mean?"

"I haven't seen you much these past couple of days…" she said, "And I…"

James laughed. "Believe it or not, I've missed you too."

They grinned at each other, staring adoringly into each other's eyes. The dinner bell rang across the grounds, but James and Lily made no movement. There was a kafuffle of movement as everyone started getting up and going downstairs. James just wanted to stare into her eyes forever…

"Oy, you two!" Sirius said, slapping the side of James' head as he got to his feet and started towards the portrait hole, "Dinner!"

"Right…" said James, rubbing the side of his head, "Ow."

Still holding onto each other's hands, James and Lily both stood up. Sirius smirked at them.

"Knew you two wouldn't be able to keep your hands off each other for long."

James tore his gaze away from Lily and rolled his eyes at Sirius. This, coming from the boy who only yesterday night had been saying that Lily was planning to break up with him! As if.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked Sirius. Sirius waved his hand dismissively as he led the six of them out of the portrait hole and downstairs. 

"Oh," said he, "Lily had this idea that James should bugger off. But I _knew _it wouldn't last."

Remus snorted, "yeah, because you're so intelligent." He looked behind his shoulder at James and Lily, now walking at the back of the group hand in hand. "Is he being serious?"

"What do you mean, I'm always Sirius!" Sirius quipped, and then laughed hysterically at his own joke.

"Shut up, you." James said. To Remus he then said, "Don't worry about it."

"Yes,' agreed Lily, raising her eyebrows disapprovingly at James. "I wish you hadn't told Sirius what I said," she said, dropping her voice.

'Why not?" James said. "He's my friend."

"Well, it was nothing wasn't it?"

"Yes, but I thought it was something very serious."

"Yes, but now I feel stupid…" Lily sighed. "It was stupid of me in the first place, wasn't it?"

"Well, you know I _hate_ to agree with you, Lil, but…" James grinned. "Listen, never mind about it. If I can put it behind me, so should Sirius be able to."

Lily nodded as they reached the marble staircase and began to descend. They reached the bottom and started into the hall but a voice behind them announced the appearance of Severus Snape.

"Oh…hello." 

The six of them turned and their faces registered mutual disgust. James instinctively tightened his grip on Lily's hand. Back in fifth year, Snape had attacked Lily and it was thanks to the quick intervention of James that she had come out of it unscathed. Snape hadn't though.

Snape however, was paying no attention to James His black eyes were fixed on Remus.

"So…you're back then."

"Yes…" said Remus warily. 'Why?"

Snape's smirk widened. 'I suppose you were…_ill_."

"As a matter of fact, it's none of your business." Remus said coolly, while the rest of the group glared murderously at Snape.

'Suit yourself," said Snape. He wasn't smiling any more, just looking at Remus in the same way a malevolent shark might look at a fish. (No, Snape doesn't want to eat Remus, it's a metaphor, okay?). "I know the teachers might turn a blind eye to your monthly _disappearances_, but I haven't. You're up to something."

"What?" said Remus, at the same time as Sirius told Snape to go away. Not in as many words, though.

"Language, Black," said Snape, his eyes still fixed on Remus.

"Look, we don't know what you're talking about," said James quickly, "Just sod off, okay?"

"My pleasure. But I'll be watching you." Snape said, as he pushed past them. Remus was looking distinctly pale. Evelyn looked up at him. "What does he mean?" she said sharply. "Monthly disappearances…what's all that about?"

"Oh, he's just being a prat," said James quickly, pulling Lily into the Great hall. "Come on."

Evelyn gave Remus a piercing look, but he suddenly became too immersed in tying up his shoelace to respond. (Had James looked at Lily's face, he would have noticed she was wearing a very odd expression. But he didn't.)

They went into the great Hall among the press of students and started making their way over to the Gryffindor table. Stephanie Brocklehurst happened to pass them with a group of Ravenclaws. "See you tonight James!" she trilled, waving flirtatiously at him. James nodded and waved back, wondering If there was any way he could get out of it. Tonight he wanted to spend as much time with Lily as possible, as it was possibly the only night he could if Quidditch training was to start straight away. Ingrid said "See you later" to them and jogged over to the Ravenclaw table, where she often took a seat next to Ivan. Meanwhile, Lily had let go of James' hand and walked ahead to the Gryffindor table. James followed her and sat down next to her, planting a kiss of top of her head as he did. She turned and looked at him. The expression on her face was not happy.

"What?" said James.

"Why did Stephanie just say that?" she asked, as Ingrid sat down on her other side and Evelyn, Remus and Sirius took chairs opposite them.  
"Say what?" said James.

"What she said…about tonight?"

"Oh," laughed Sirius, tuning into their conversation, "James has a date with Stephanie tonight! Don't you, lover boy?"

James turned and looked at him in horror. "Sirius!" he exclaimed angrily. Evelyn and Remus looked bewildered. He looked back at Lily. She had her eyebrows raised so high they almost disappeared into her fringe.

"I asked you to cool off for two days and you start dating another girl?" she asked incredulously.

"No!" James cried. "No, no way! Sirius-" and here he delivered a kick to Sirius' leg under the table, "Is just being _stupid_." He turned and glared angrily at Sirius. 

"Ow!" Sirius cried. "Okay, okay- James doesn't have a date Lily, he just has a study date."

"A study date?" Lily said suspiciously.

"Yes- _no_!" James said, "Look, Stephanie asked me to tutor her in transfiguration and I said yes, all right? It's nothing! I'm just helping her out, okay?"

"Stephanie…asked you?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure? I mean, you didn't offer to or anything?"

"_No_!" James cried. "Lily- what's your problem?! Do you want me to cancel it?"

"No,' Lily said, assuming a blank expression. She pushed back her chair and stood up. 

"Where're you going?"

"I…don't feel hungry." Lily said shortly, before hurrying out of the hall, ignoring the Slytherins' cries of "Mudblood!" as she passed. Evelyn raised her eyebrows at James and Sirius in a very pissed off sort of way.  
"_Now_ look what you've done," she snapped, also getting to her feet. "Bastard men! Not you Remus," she added, as followed Lily out of the hall. There was a very confused silence in which James out his head in his hands and sighed angrily. What on earth was Lily's problem _now?_ He'd explained the situation to her, there was nothing funny going on. Why couldn't she just…just…

"Jeez," said Sirius, "I'm glad _I_ don't have a girlfriend."

"Yeah, well," said James, "No wonder." He then pushed back his chair and strode to the entrance hall, and escaped outside to the Quidditch pitch.


	4. With or Without You?

****

CHAPTER FOUR: WITH OR WITHOUT YOU?

Lily hurried upstairs to the common room, with the intention of going straight up to the dorm. No sooner had she closed the portrait hole door behind her, however, than Evelyn pushed it open again.

"Okay," she said, pushing Lily into an armchair and standing over her. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing!" Lily exclaimed, giving her friend a resentful stare.

Evelyn raised her eyebrows. "Bollocks," she said, "Don't try and lie to me Lil. You know you can't."

Lily looked up into Evelyn's brown eyes and sighed. "Okay…"

"So. Why did you just bite James' head off? He's only tutoring her."

"Yes…but she _asked _him to."

Evelyn pulled up another chair so she could sit opposite Lily. "So what?" Suddenly she grinned. "Wait a moment, I get it- The slut's after him, isn't she?"

"Don't say that!" said Lily, shocked.  
"It's true, Lil, and you know it." Her eyes were narrowed now. "No wonder she's been hanging around Ingrid so much. I should have guessed it- waving hello whenever he passes her, always trying to be his partner in Charms- she's trying to get in his pants."

Lily looked down. Of course she had noticed Stephanie's escalation in attention towards her boyfriend. It was impossible not to- and impossible not to be bothered by it- but it was such a stupid thing to worry about. James loved her- he said so as often as he could. And she loved him. Didn't she? It was only stress that was causing her to feel so irritated at him lately. It must have been…

"So, what are you worried about?' Evelyn said. "You know he'd never leave you- hell, he hates it when you spend five minutes away from him in the bathroom." 

"Yes…but…" Lily said, struggling with the words, "I was talking to Ivan the other day and he said…he said…."

"Yeeees?"

"Well, he was saying how annoying it was when Stephanie got top marks in Transfiguration, because she always gloated about it."

"What?"

"He did, and I said, well how often does that happen? And he said…" Lily sighed. "He said it happened all the time. When it comes to Transfiguration, there's no one better than Stephanie Brocklehurst, according to Ivan."

Evelyn froze. Then she widened her eyes innocently. "Now what would a top transfiguration student be doing asking your boyfriend for help in that very subject?" She looked at Lily's face and giggled. 'I'm kidding, Lil! Okay, so she's lying so that she can try and seduce James, I'll admit that's what it looks like."

"I never said that…"

"Oh, I know that's what you're thinking. But look," and here she assumed a serious expression again. "Do you really have that little faith in him? Do you honestly think because of some scheming hussy he'll drop you like a hot mug of butterbeer and go for Stephanie?" She leaned back in her chair. "Bollocks he will. He's bonkers about you Lily, you only have to look at him to see that."  
"But… but we've been having so many problems lately, and…"

"Only because you're seeing problems that aren't really there," said Evelyn soothingly, "not all couples _have_ to have problems Lily. I think you're so worried about your relationship being "usual", you're just looking for fault. Don't. Sit back and enjoy it."

Lily bit her lip. Evelyn's words were making sense…but there was something else bothering her…

"Evelyn," she said hesitantly, "What about…"

"Yeeees?"

"What about Remus?"

"What d'you mean?"

"Well, he's… I mean, what Snape said before."

Evelyn's brown eyes were troubled very briefly. "Yeah, that was a bit weird… but then again, it's Snape. You know he's gone loony from being such a wanker."

Lily shook her head, but couldn't help grinning. Evelyn was wrong, though. The truth was, Snape was far from "loony"- on the contrary, he was one of the most intelligent people she'd ever met. And he wasn't the only one that had noticed the pattern of Remus' disappearances. Lily had been wondering why Remus' illnesses happened to be once a month. Not only that, every time he was away it happened to be the full moon. And, stranger still, every time Remus was away James, Sirius and Peter would sneak out of the dorms. They obviously thought nobody noticed them, but she was often up late in the common room, and had, on more than a few occasions, seen them shuffling out of the common room discreetly. She just assumed they were going down to steal food from the kitchens(which was something of a hobby of theirs), but why did they do it every full moon when Remus was sick? And why did they take Peter with them? She felt like she was missing something very important, some link in the pattern…but she just couldn't grasp it. She could tell intuitively, that James knew the secret behind Remus' disappearances. So what was he hiding?

"You right then?"

"Yes…" Lily said slowly. She stood up suddenly. "I think I'll go and have a shower."

"Fine. Have a little think while you're under there. James loves you, all right?"

She gave Lily a hug then went back down to the great hall, while Lily ascended the staircase, up to the girls' dorms and to the bathroom. By the time she was finished with her shower and had returned to the common room, most people had returned from dinner and were busying themselves. Lily went over to her usual corner where Ingrid, Evelyn, Remus and were sitting. There was no sign of James. The portrait hole swung open and Lily turned to see who it was. Sirius strode in, looking anxious and not at all like his usual self. He looked around till he spotted Lily.

"Lily-" he moved over to her before she could sit down, so they were a little way away from the others. 'I'm sorry about…you know, before. You know James isn't going on a date with Stephanie, I was just kidding all right? She truly did just ask him for tutoring. I was there when it happened."

Lily smiled. "I know. I believe you."

"Good," said Sirius, looking relieved. "Um…" he hesitated. "Have you seen James? Only, he's not up in the dorms, or in the Owlery, or in the Entrance hall and I can't find him…"

"Did you check the Quidditch pitch?"

"Oh, yeah! I can't believe I forgot that!" he grinned, looking Sirius-like again. "Thanks! And…" he started moving towards the portrait hole backwards. "Shall I…tell him you're not angry?"

Lily smiled. "He should know."

"Right, cool. Okay, bye!" he jogged off. 

Lily smiled again. The Quidditch pitch was somewhere she knew James went if he needed to think. People rarely went down there unless there was a match on, and she knew James liked being outside much better than being inside. It was his special thinking spot, and Lily knew that if James said, "I'm going to the pitch" it meant he needed to be alone. Lily's brow furrowed suddenly. Lately James had been going to the pitch more and more- in fact, there was a distinct lack of communication between them since recently…

*

And meanwhile, back in Dorset, Mrs. Potter was only getting worse. Mr. Potter sent weekly letters to James, so that he was updated on his mother's progress. The next day was Halloween. At breakfast, Gorgon the screech owl flew in with the others, bringing the worst news yet. "It's from dad," James announced, as he pulled the letter off Gorgon's foot. Gorgon hooted, gave James an affectionate nip, grabbed a piece of bacon in his talons and flapped off, knocking over a jug of milk as he did so. Sirius and Remus watched James anxiously as he read the letter- apart from Lily (who wasn't downstairs yet), they were the only others who knew about Mrs. Potter's declining condition.

James frowned, furrowing his brow. "Bad news?" Sirius said quickly. James didn't answer, just continued staring at the words on the page. "James?" Sirius prompted.

"What?"

"Bad news?"

"Uh…yeah, pretty bad," said James slowly, rolling up the piece of parchment. "I mean…um…she's…been to see a wizard doctor because the Muggles weren't doing anything."

"And?"

"She's um…the doctor said she was really ill. Said there's…nothing that magical healing can do for her. So she's gone back into the muggle hospital, but…in London."

Sirius and Remus stared at James, aghast.

"Shit," said Remus after a while. "James…are you okay?"

"I'm fine," said James, "it's my mum that's a worry."

"Don't lose faith in Muggle doctors," said Sirius bracingly, "They can fix freckles that turn into cancer, and they can fix your mum."

James looked up at Sirius and gave him a small smile. "I hope so." He got to his feet. "I'm just going out to the Quidditch pitch for a bit."

Sirius and Remus nodded, knowing better than to follow James when he was going to his special thinking spot.

James wandered out to the pitch and sat down in the stands. He felt the beginnings of a great pit of worry churning in his stomach. There were two women he loved on this earth- one was Lily, and the other was his mother. And now it seemed, he might not lose just one, but both of them. Lily hadn't spoken to him at all during the brief time he went back into the common room last night, and by the sound of it, his mother was on her way to the tunnel with the white light at the end of it.

James put his head down on his knees. _Why is this happening? Why is everyone I love being ripped away from me?_

He sat like that for quite some time, worries and feeling and sadness whirling around inside him. he felt angry too; angry at his mother for being sick, angry at his father for delivering the news, angry at thew doctor's for not being able to fix her- and most of all, angry at Lily he have to be the way she was acting? Why right now, when he needed her most. Why?

James didn't understand. But he did know that he and Lily were growing apart. Maybe they weren't so similar after all. Maybe they weren't so perfect. Okay, so he wasn't perfect, for sure, but was that any reason to start bitching at him and getting angry for offering to tutor other girls! It didn't mean anything!

He could hear Lily now in his head, telling him what he least needed to hear-

__

"We cool off for two days and you're dating other girls?" Lily's voice echoed in his head he felt angry. _Why_ didn't she understand that he needed her now? Why was she so frustrating and selfish and mean and awful and terrible? And why was life so bad, terrible, awful, horrible, and why could he only picture himself with Lily, when she was being as bad as life, when she was making it worse? Why couldn't everyone just LEAVE HIM ALONE and stop DYING OR LEAVING HIM?

There was a terrible pounding in James' ears. He wanted his mother- wanted to hug her, tell her everything was going to be okay. But he couldn't stop the pounding. James stood up, closed his eyes, put his hands over his ears and let out a scream that echoed around the pitch. He wanted to scream and scream until everything was all better.

After a while he sat down again, feeling tears sting his eyes. He felt like he was losing everyone he cared about.


	5. This is How you Remind Me

****

CHAPTER FIVE: THIS IS HOW YOU REMIND ME

Unfortunately, after that, things only got worse. James didn't tell Lily about his mother's worsened condition- he wanted to but upon approaching her that night in the common room he got a snappish "Go away please James, I'm busy" for his trouble.

The Halloween feast lost its attractiveness completely for James- if he was going to spend it fighting with Lily then what was the point?

So he deliberately sat away from Lily that night- she shot him a reproachful look but said nothing, and James spent the night with Sirius and Peter (Evelyn monopolised most of Remus' time these days), and forced himself not to look over at Lily. He knew that one look from her would send him running into her arms. 

And so, over the next few weeks thing very quickly progressed the same way- Lily and James drifted further and further apart. Though their friends tried, time and again, to bring them back together, nothing worked- their conversation was short and awkward. Sometimes Lily thought she would scream from the sheer frustration of it all- she longed to reach out and touch him, hug him, kiss him, bring things back to the way they used to be. But if James was going to be stand-offish to her then she had no choice but to retaliate. She threw herself into her schoolwork, pursuing it more obsessively than she ever had before. And James became even lazier than he had at the start of the year- but for the first time ever, his grades began to drop. Sheer worry for his mother and failing relationship with Lily drove him to abstraction during class and he hardly ever took anything in any more. To distract himself, he ran Quiidditch training like a mad man, pushing the team harder than ever, and pushing himself to new and more astounding limits. He didn't sleep, lost weight, and it became a rare sight to see that sparkling smile on James Potter's face.

In the middle of it all was Stephanie Brocklehurst. True to his word, James gave her weekly tutoring sessions in Transfiguration, unaware of her talent at the subject. He found her company pleasant and gentle- a nice change from Lily's short answers and snappish behaviour. Eventually Stephanie managed to coax the story of his mother's illness out of him, and from thereon took every opportunity to console him and present a sympathetic figure to him. James responded gratefully- he found her a great comfort. Though Sirius and Remus were as supportive as they could possibly be, James felt better with the soft sympathy only a female can give.

The first snow of the season came on the first night of December, and Hogwarts students awoke to find the grounds covered a thick layer of pure white snow.

"All right!" Sirius cried, jumping around the dorm excitedly, "Wicked! Snow fight later, eh boys?"

"Sure," Remus yawned. "You in, Prongs?"

James stared out the window too and forced a smile onto his face. "Sure," he said. Maybe that would cheer him up.

Remus rooted through his trunk for his toothbrush, still yawning.

"Hey, what time did you come in last night Moony?" Sirius asked, looking at his friend's weary face. "I didn't fall asleep until one am and you still weren't here?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Evelyn and I were in the Great Hall and on our way back up we ran into bloody Snape." He leant down and pulled a towel out of his trunk, "I'm really getting worried," he continued, "I mean, Snape, as usual started going on about how I'm…not here every month, and then, when we finally got back up to the common room, Evelyn started asking me about it. I think she's getting suspicious. She wouldn't let me go to bed until gave her an excuse."

Sirius stared at him. 'So what did you say?"

Remus busied himself in his trunk again. "I…had to lie. Told her we just went on monthly raids to Zonko's. Told her that there was a secret passage that only opened at the full moon."

Sirius gave an incredulous snort. "So did she buy that crap?"

Remus didn't look up. "…Yes."

"Oh, god," Sirius gave a groan and threw himself down on Remus' bed. "You know, if you just told her the truth-"

"Padfoot," said James warningly, looking at Remus' face. "Not now."

Sirius didn't push the matter. They went down to breakfast still in their pyjamas- it was their theory that, on a Sunday, they had the right to stay slovenly as long as possible. The Gryffindor Quidditch team had a practise that morning, and they went downstairs to find Jack O'Kelly and Sarem Johnson already sat at the Gryffindor table.

Soon, though, the Hall began to fill up with the rest of the school as they too, ventured down for breakfast. There was no sign of Lily, or Evelyn- James assumed they were both sleeping in. Ingrid stopped by to say a quick hello before hurrying off to the Ravenclaw table to have breakfast with Ivan.

"Post!" Sirius said, as hundred of owl flew in through the window at the top of the hall. James' heart jumped as he saw the familiar tawny wings of his owl, Gorgon, winging his way to the Gryffindor table. He perched himself on James' shoulder and nipped his ear softly. Remus fed the owl some toast as James ripped open the parchment tied to Gorgon's leg. The handwriting was James' father's- but it was shaky, and there were several ink blotches.

__

"Dear James,

We got the final test results yesterday. They confirmed our worst fears. It's more than probable that your mother will die. She's dying James.

Please come home for Christmas to say your goodbyes.

Dad."

Something exploded inside of James' head. He crushed the piece of parchment with his fist angrily. With his other hand, he swiped at his goblet. The goblet hit the wall with a clang, spilling pumpkin juice all over the floor.

Remus and Sirius stared.

"James?' Sirius said, "is everything…okay?"

"No!" James choked out. "Everything sucks!" He sniffled, feeling the awful sensation of tears behind his eyes. He twisted the parchment between his hands. "She's probably going to die."

"Oh…" Remus' already large eyes widened. "Oh- oh James that's…oh shit."

James bent his head, forcing the tears not to come. There was no way to explain the desolate feeling inside him. 

But what could crying do?

Sirius had put a hand on James' shoulder and was gripping it very tightly. James wanted him to go away- he wanted everyone to go away.

"Are we going to go out and practise now?" Jack O'Kelly was standing on the other side of the table. His broomstick slung over his shoulder. "James? Hey- are you all right?"

"Fine," James lied through gritted teeth.

"Are you sure? Because you don't look fine."

"I'm FINE!" James shouted. It echoed round the hall momentarily. Conversation stumbled as everyone turned to see who was making the commotion.

Jack stepped back a few paces. "James, I, I'm sorry, um, I didn't mean to-"

James buried his face in his knees. Sirius' grip on his shoulder tightened.

"Don't worry about it Jack," said Remus firmly. "He'll be alright."

"But, I didn't mean to make him angry- I'm sorry James."

"It's okay," James mumbled into his knees.

"Get out of here, kiddo," Sirius said, "Take Sarem with you out onto the pitch and throw the Quaffle around- practice is cancelled today."

"Oh- okay."

He retreated quickly. Remus and Sirius knelt down either side of James' chair. Sirius's hand never left James' shoulder- though he was gripping so tightly now it hurt.

"James," said Sirius slowly, firmly, "Listen to me. You can get through this."

"Everything just keeps getting worse," James mumbled into his knees.

"I know, but you've come this far, haven't you?"

"Everyone's leaving…" James muttered. 

"We're not," said Remus urgently. "James? We're still here. We'll help you, okay?"

Help him? No one could help right now. His mother was going to die- how could anyone help him. he wanted someone to take him in their arms and make everything all better. Only one person he knew could do that. She was the only one who could help him now.

James sat up slowly, painfully aware that Sirius and Remus could see the tears that had blossomed in his eyes.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "But I need her help too. I…I need her now."

"Who? Your mother?"

"No." James got to his feet and strode up to the Gryffindor common room, to find Lily. Surely she wouldn't snap at him now- he would explain to her and she would realise just how much he needed her at this moment.

"Lily?' he yelled, as he ran up the corridor that led to the portrait hole. "Lily, are you in-"

WHACK! The portrait hit something very hard as he slammed it open. The something yelped and fell backwards onto the wall.

"Oh my," James said, pushing back to portrait to see who it was. Lily was leaning against the wall, holding her nose. Scattered on the ground around her were several sheafs of parchment, a quill, and a bottle of ink that had spilled and was now staining the carpet.

"Lily-! I'm sorry- are you okay?" he helped her to her feet, very momentarily forgetting his problem. "I was in a hurry to find you- I really need to talk to you, Lil, and-"

"James you absolute IDIOT!" Lily snapped suddenly. She took her hands away from her face to reveal a bleeding nose. She look at the blood on her fingers in shock. "Oh- great! Just what I need!" She bent down and started picking up the papers angrily, shoving them every which way into a pile. "Professor McGonagall asked me to sort these fifth year essays out- and now they're all mixed up! Thanks a lot!"

"I'm…sorry…" James said, feeling an impending sense of doom. Lily wasn't listening- why wasn't she listening? "Lily, look- I really need t talk to you, I really need your help-"

"Oh, so that's it, is it?" Lily said furiously, straightening up to look him in the eye -(On closer observance, she looked extremely tired and grumpy). "Ignore me for weeks on end and then, when you need help, come running back? Is that what you're trying to do?" 

James stared at her open mouthed. Right when he needed her, she was going to bring this up?

"What?" he said finally. 

"Forget it!" she snapped, "if this is another one of your little problems, just forget it! I've got problems of my own right now James- I can't help you every time there's something wrong! I can't make everything all better- why don't you just grow up and sort it out yourself this time?"

It felt as though she had just slapped him. James, for the second time in as many minutes, was lost for words. All he could do was stare at her. This was impossible- this was the girl he loved, and she was telling him to grow up and sort out his own problems? His mother's declining condition was simply "another one of his little problems"?

There was a good ten-second silence as James stared at her, bending down to pick up more papers.

How could she?

"Goodbye," he said finally, and, after grabbing his cloak, left. Somehow, though he felt too weak to walk, his legs carried him to the Quidditch pitch, where he dropped to his knees in the frosty grass and let out a scream that brought snow dropping off the branches of the surrounding trees.

*

After he left, Lily leant against the wall and slid down until she was sitting on the floor, and stayed like that for quite some time. She couldn't believe what she had just done. The look on James' face after she told him to grow up almost brought tears to her eyes- he had looked so lost and confused, she just wanted to reach out and hug him. But she couldn't back down. All she could do was sit there and replay the conversation in her mind, and wish to God that she could take back what she said.

But on the other hand- she was right to be angry. James was the one who'd been ignoring her since Halloween; James was the one who was supposed to the Head Boy of the school but still acted like a first year- yes, she had every right to be angry!

"It's his fault," she told herself sternly, "he shouldn't have started to ignore me just because I've got a lot of homework to do." She looked at her wristwatch, and saw, with some surprise, that she had been lying on the floor for ten minutes- "Dammit!" She had promised to return these essays to professor McGonagall before breakfast- and the Professor hated it when anyone was late. Just as she was gathering up the last of the papers, the portrait hole swung open again and hit her squarely in the back of the head. "Ow!" she yelped. Two heads poked around the door- it was Sirius and Remus. "Oh, my- sorry Lil," said Sirius, bending down to help her up. 

"My fault," muttered Lily, "I shouldn't have been sitting behind the door anyway." 

"No, probably not" Sirius agreed. He started helping her collect the essays that had been scattered on the floor once again. Remus looked around. "Where's James?"

"How should I know?" Lily snapped. 

"What happened to your nose?' Sirius asked, looking at her curiously. Lily reached up to her face to feel her throbbing nose. It definitely felt swollen.

"James," she said, feeling another flush of anger. "He came storming in here like the idiot he is and crashed straight into me!"

"Did he seem all right?' Remus said anxiously, "He didn't seem upset, or…suicidal?"

"What? What are you talking about?" Lily snapped. "He was going on about needing my help- I tell you, every time he has a problem he come running to me like I'm his mother!"

Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance and turned back to her. "Did you…get angry with him?" said Sirius slowly.

"Of course I did! He's been ignoring me for weeks, and suddenly he expects me to drop everything to help him?"

Sirius groaned and leaned against the wall. "Lily, you daft cow!"

"What?" 

Remus looked upset. "He came up here to find you so that he could tell you about the letter he got this morning, Lil."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "So?"

"It's was from his dad," said Sirius, putting his hand over his eyes, "About his mum. She's going to die, Lily."

Someone grabbed Lily's insides with cold hands and twisted them. "What?' she whispered. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. 

"His dad wrote to him this morning- the doctors confirmed at everything…"

"Oh my god." Lily sat down on the floor. "I can't believe…what I just did!" She covered her face in her hands.

'Well, maybe if you[d just listened!" snapped Sirius. 'What exactly did you say to him?"

"I…I told him to grow up and solve his own problems," Lily said into her hands, feeling fresh waves of powerful shame. "Oh my god…I can't believe what I've done…"

There was a silence into which Sirius swore violently. 

"Okay, well, look- this isn't so bad," Remus said, "I mean, James could be throwing himself off the astronomy tower as we speak, but it's not so bad."

"I've got to go find him," Lily said, "I have to apologise. I can't believe this has happened."

"His mum's been getting worse for weeks, how could you not expect it?" Sirius said, as he pulled Lily to her feet. 

"Well, I haven't really been at the top of James' list of people to talk to, have I?" Lily said exasperatedly.

"And the moment you were, you told him to grow up," Sirius said dispassionately. "Way to go."

"Sirius," said Remus warningly. He turned to Lily with a grave look on his face, "Do you know where's he gone?"

"I've got a pretty good idea," Lily answered, and hurried out of the common room, down to the Great hall, and outside, to the Quidditch pitch.

*

James hadn't been on the pitch long before he felt someone touch his shoulder softly. "James?" It was a girl.

James swivelled, "Li- oh. Hi, Stephanie."

"Are you all right?" There was concern in her eyes, "I heard you screaming. Are you in pain? Uh- why are you in your pyjamas?"

James sniffled, hurriedly wiping the tears away. "Nothing's wrong, I'm okay." He looked into her eyes, and suddenly, he didn't feel like lying. "Actually, I'm anything but okay. I got a letter from my dad this morning about mum."

"Oh? How's she doing?" Stephanie asked as she settled herself into the snow beside him.

"She's…probably going to die."

Stephanie gasped. "Oh- James! You poor boy!" And she hugged him very tightly, planting a kiss on his cheek as she did so. "You poor, poor boy…"

James felt slightly funny, hugging someone that wasn't Lily. It felt like cheating, somehow. But Stephanie's embrace was so warm and comforting- she was just being a good friend, really. And Lily wasn't being anything _close _to a friend at the moment. "Lily…" he muttered darkly under his breath.

"What did you just say?" Stephanie said, moving back and giving him a curious look.

"Lily. She- well, I went up to see her, to tell her about my mum and she…she…" He hung his head. "She didn't care. She told me to grow up."

"Oh, _James_!" Stephanie cried, sounding absolutely horrified. She took his face in her hands- warning bells went off in James' head, but Stephanie was talking, her eyes were boring into his, and her voice was soft and sympathetic.

"I always knew something like this would happen," she said, "You- you're so sweet and sensitive, and Lily- well, she's a very harsh person- all she cares about is getting good grades. And you know what that means, James? She only really cares about herself." James wanted to contradict her- "You're wrong!" he blurted out immediately, but then…he thought back to the scene on the common room just minutes ago, and Stephanie's words sounded so right.

"I'm not," she said gently, "Some girlfriends just aren't worth having, and if Lily doesn't care about something as important as your mother, well, then…what else can I say? She's not worth it."

The words echoed hollowly in James' head. "She is. She really is. I just…I just wanted her to be there for me…" he quavered.

"_I'm_ here James, and always will be, for you. You don't need someone like Lily- she's no good for you. But I promise that I'll always be here when you need me."

Stephanie was by now, very close, and her words were so kind. James was sick of being snapped at and treated like shit. Stephanie was right- but did he want this? 

"Don't," he said, in a surprisingly strong tone of voice, "I love her…"

It still came as a surprise to him when Stephanie leaned forward and kissed him. No, he definitely didn't want this- this felt wrong. This was cheating. He and Lily weren't broken up yet- he needed to hear her say the words herself before that was decided. He wanted to push Stephanie away, but somehow…couldn't.

She broke off the kiss herself, looking at him with those large hazel eyes. 'What's the matter?"

"I…don't kn-" But then he saw something over Stephanie's shoulder that made his blood freeze. It was Lily.

She turned around and ran. "Lily!" James yelled, wrenching himself free of Stephanie's grip. He ploughed through the snow after her, out of the stadium, past the greenhouses- "Lily! STOP!" he yelled, but it was no use. Still she ran, nearly knocking Hagrid over as she pelted past his house.

"Watch it!" he cried, and then jumped back again as James came sprinting past after her. "Oy! Watch where yer goin', you two!"

Lily couldn't keep ahead of him for long- James had much longer legs and was fitter, thanks to his years of Quidditch training. She stumbled over a tree root at the lake, and with a cry of surprise, fell, panting, onto the snow-covered ground. "Lily!" James panted, lurching up to her, "Are you all right?"

"Don't touch me! Go away!" Lily yelled, as he made to bend down and pick her up.

"Lily, I can explain," he said desperately, as she pulled herself to her feet, brushing snow and dirt off her robes.

"Me too," she said, breathing very hard, "You were kissing Stephanie Brocklehurst."

"But, it wasn't what it looked like- she kissed _me_."

Lily gave a short, mirthless laugh, "Oh please!" she snapped breathlessly, "How am I supposed to believe that?"

"What makes you think I'd lie?"

"Well, you've only been flirting wildly with each other for the past two months- I should've seen this coming."

"WHAT?!" James yelled, "What do you mean, flirting? Just because I give her tutoring in Transfiguration-"

"Yea, and the top Transfiguration student in Ravenclaw _really_ needs help from you!" Lily yelled back.  
"What?" James said again, highly confused.

"I trusted you!" she said, her cheeks high in colour from the cold, "I thought I was right now to suspect anything all this time, but now I see- I was wrong!" 

Now James was angry. "Well, even if I had been cheating on you, it's not as though there would have been anything wrong with it-"

"OH? How do you figure THAT?" Lily interjected.

"-Because, as far as I know, we've broken up!"

"No we haven't!"

"Well, how am I supposed to know, what with you ignoring me and snapping at me every time I try to speak to you!" He looked at her furious face and laughed incredulously, 'Well, what did you expect me to think, Lily? That we'd still be going out but just not speak to each other?"

"It was _you_ that started ignoring me, James! Don't try to twist this around on me!" Lily was shivering now- she had neglected to put on her cloak and now her robes were wet from falling into the snow. 

"If you wanted to break up you could have just SAID so!" James snapped "It's better to tell the truth than just…ignore me!"

"The truth? What would you know about it, James? You're never honest with me- you're always lying and hiding behind your jokes. I'm sick of it!"

James' mouth dropped open. "What do you mean, lies? I don't lie!"

"Okay- tell me where you go every full moon."

James was caught off guard. "Wh-what?"

"Every full moon when Remus is ill- you, Peter and Sirius sneak out of the common room. Where do you go?" she demanded.

"We just…go raid Honeydukes, if it's any of your business!" James said hotly, feeling his cheeks burn. 

"Bollocks!" she said harshly. "And now, I walk out to find you kissing someone else- to think I came out here to apologise-"

"Apologise? You? As if!"

"Arrgh!" Lily threw up her hands in frustration. "I can't believe you- you've cheated on me, James! You're so…so…"

"So _what_? Immature? Pathetic? Irritating? A _distraction_? There's a whole library of insults there to use on me Lily- you've used them before, just pick one!"

Lily took a deep breath through her nose. She had wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to keep warm. James tried not to feel any compassion for her- it was hard enough being angry as it was.

"Look," he said roughly, "Do you want up break up or not?"

She fixed him with a cold green stare for a good five seconds. "I think that would be best right now, don't you?"

"I certainly do."

"All right then." Lily gave him one last look, turned on her heel, and walked off to the castle. James went the opposite way, feeling as though he'd just cut off his last leg.


	6. So Very Wrong

****

CHAPTER SIX: SO VERY WRONG

James numbly went back up to the Gryffindor tower. By now, of course most people had finished their breakfast and were sprawled across the room, feeling too content and warm inside the castle to do any homework. James wanted to back right out of there, but unfortunately Remus and Sirius spotted him before he could close the portrait hole.

"James!" they cried in unison, leaping up from their seats and hurrying over to him.

"Are you all right?"

"Where'd you go?"

"Did Lily find you?"

"She went up to her dorm a few minutes ago but totally ignored us. Did it not go well?"

James said nothing. He now felt the beginnings of a deep pit of shame in his stomach- He had kissed Stephanie Brocklehurst. Why had he done that? It was only because he had wanted someone so desperately to comfort him, and there was Stephanie with her hugs and kind words, so unlike Lily. But it was really Lily he wanted. He cursed himself. _Stupid, stupid, stupid weakling_.

"We broke up," he said heavily. Sirius and Remus' mouths dropped open.

"WHAT?!" Sirius shrieked, a tad too loud. The common room immediately went quiet and stared at them. "Oh sod off!" Sirius said, turning around. "Come on, outside."

He pushed James through the portrait hole, and Remus followed. "Okay," said Sirius. "Tell us. How? Why? When? Where? What the hell is wrong with the both of you?"

James looked into the faces of his best friends…and knew he couldn't tell them the horrible thing he'd just done. This was worse than not telling Lily about the Animagi thing- this was lying to her in a different way.

"It…It was my fault," he said finally, 'I just couldn't take her rudeness any more."

"But she went to find you so she could apologise! Didn't she do that?"

"She didn't do it…very well," James said softly.

"But, James-"

"If you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about it," said James. "Please?" he added, looking at Sirius' stormy face.

"All right." Remus said. He opened the portrait hole and the led the way through, giving James a gentle pat on the shoulder as he passed.

*

Upstairs in the girls dorm, Lily was in the shower. She liked to cry in the shower because no one could tell what you were doing, and sobs could hardly be heard above the sound of running water. She felt like two different sides were having a battle inside her head. One the one hand, James- his mother was dying, and when he had come to her for help she had bit his head off. But this was greatly eclipsed by the fact that _he cheated on her._ She had never felt so cold inside as when she had run out onto the pitch to see him with Stephanie Brocklehurst. And what made it even worse was that she had no way to tell if he'd been cheating on her for weeks- after all, they had been having those cosy little tutoring sessions in the library since October. How could he?

A fresh wave of tears escaped her, and she choked out a sob that echoed around the bathroom.

When she felt that she had run out of tears, she stepped out of the shower and dried herself quickly, changing into jeans and a jumper, with plans of going for a long walk around the lake to think. Evelyn quickly put a stop to this plan however, when she came storming up into the girls dorms and slammed the bathroom door open so hard that it made the doorknob fall off.

"Evelyn!" said Lily reproachfully. Evelyn fixed her with a stare so ferocious it made Lily think of a basilisk. "What's the matter?"

"What's the matter? What's the matter?" she said melodramatically, "What's this I hear about you and James breaking up? How can this be possible?"

Lily tried to make her way past Evelyn. "I don't want to talk about it."

Evelyn reached up, grabbed Lily by her shoulders and pushed her into the dorm and down onto a bed. "Well, that's too bloody bad," she said angrily. "Tell me what's going on."

So Lily had no choice but to explain to Evelyn what James had done. By the end of it Evelyn was in full fits of rage.

"That BASTARD!" she yelled, squeezing Lily's shoulder so hard Lily had to remove her friend's hand. "How DARE he? That bloody, bloody BASTARD!"

"It's all right," Lily said quietly.

"All right?" Evelyn shrieked. "This is FAR from all right! He was your BOYFRIEND! And he KISSED another GIRL!"

Lily winced. Evelyn was shouting right in her ear. "Well, thank you for pointing out the obvious,' she muttered.

Evelyn was up and pacing the dorm. "Well, what else do you expect me to do at a time like this? This is the worst thing someone can possibly do! It's blatant…bastardism!"

Lily smiled ruefully. "Guess he wasn't so bonkers about me after all." 

Evelyn looked pained, and came and knelt beside Lily on the floor. "Look…I know if Ingrid were here she'd say something kind and sweet and faultless and awfully sensible at the same time. And I'm sorry I'm not Ingrid. I'm sorry I can't help you like that. I'm not sure how to help you deal with this, but I'm going to be here. If you don't want me to get angry, then I'll try not to. But he's hurt you. My very best friend, and he's broken your heart. Right now I want to…to…rip all his appendages off and shove them down his throat! But I won't," she added looking at Lily's expression. "It's probably the last thing you want to hear right this moment but you have to get over it quickly. Like ripping a bandaid off- just deal with the pain. I know you can do it because you're strong. And you'll have me to help you. So Lily…just…just don't think that James didn't love you, because he did, you know. The fact that he kissed someone else doesn't mean he didn't love you. It just means that he's a big ugly spotty bastard dickhead with no dick. There's no point in getting all sad, because you were loved. And you still are, by me. Okay?"

Lily leaned down and hugged Evelyn tightly, for a long time. "That was quite a speech," she said finally, when they broke apart. "You're absolutely right about everything Eve. I've got to get though this quickly. Thank you so much."

Evelyn grinned. "No problem." 

Lily stood. "I'm going downstairs. I don't care if he's down there. I've got homework to do."

"Right on," Evelyn said getting to her feet too. 

Head held high, Lily descended the girls' staircase down to the common room, with Evelyn following, egging her on. But, upon reaching the bottom the staircase both girls saw that James was nowhere to be seen in the common room. Remus and Sirius, however, were sitting with Jack in the corner. Remus was evidently teaching Jack how to play chess, as they were sat on either side of the board, brows furrowed in consternation.

"Hey Eve," Remus said, receiving her kiss on the cheek as the girls joined them. "Where've you bee-" he stopped when he saw Lily. And expression of ambivalence passed over his face. "Hi Lil."

Sirius however, got right to the point. "Oh, it's you is it?" he said, glaring at Lily. "Can I ask you a question?" he said, before Lily had time to reply. "Just what on earth is wrong with the two of you?"

"What- me and Evelyn?"

"Very funny," sneered Sirius, "You know perfectly well I mean you and James. You've broken up, right at the time when James needs you most. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Lily looked back at him stonily. "Don't ask me," she said, "I wasn't the one kissing Stephanie Brocklehurst."

"What's that demon wench got to do with anything?" Sirius said irritably. 

"Oh," said Evelyn raising her eyebrows as far as they could go, "he hasn't told them yet. Well that's interesting. Don't boys usually brag about scoring to their mates?"

Remus stared, concern spreading over his face. "What…d'you mean, Eve?"

"I mean, Lily walked out onto the pitch earlier this morning to apologise to James, only to find him playing tonsil hockey with the sluttiest seventh year at Hogwarts." Evelyn said, grim triumph in her voice.

All three boys stared at her, open mouthed.

"No way," Sirius said finally.

"Way," said Lily bitterly. Sirius looked at her, confusion on his face.

"I don't believe you," he said uncertainly. Remus was looking at her too, but more carefully.

"Lily…" he said gently, putting a hand on her arm. "Are you…sure?"

"Fairly," said Lily, raising her eyebrows, "I mean, I suppose it could've been James' evil twin brother." 

"He doesn't _have _a twin brother- oh, right. You were being sarcastic."

"Shut up Sirius," said Remus. He leant back in his chair. "Oh my god," he said finally. He looked into Lily's eyes seriously. "You really are telling the truth, aren't you?"

Lily's gaze didn't waver. "Yes. I went out to the pitch to apologise, and…he was kissing Stephanie Brocklehurst."

She looked at her hands for a moment or two, tears dangerously close. Then she looked up again. "Am I a complete mug?" she asked Remus, "has this been going on for weeks?"

"Not as far as I know," Remus said. "Believe me," he added, seeing Lily's sceptical expression. "I can say, with total confidence, he has absolutely not been cheating on you. At least, not to my knowledge."

"Nor mine," said Sirius faintly. He seemed to be having trouble digesting the whole situation. "Let me get this straight….James, that's, you know, the one you've been going out with for the past year…was kissing- actual lip to lip contact- he was kissing Stephanie Brocklehurst? Today? This morning?"

"Yes," said Evelyn. "Basically, mates- James is a bit of a shit, really."

Sirius and Remus looked at each other. "We'd better go find him," said Sirius.

"This is too weird," Remus said, nodding in agreement, as he got to his feet.

"And so very wrong," Sirius groaned. He looked at Lily, "Look, are you positive that's what you saw?"

One look at the expression on Lily's face told him all he needed to know.

"Right, yes, James definitely has a bit of a shit factor then," he said, backing away towards the dorms. "We'll just go find him and tell him you're annoyed, shall we?"

"Tell him to drop dead," Lily muttered to herself as Sirius and Remus headed towards the boys dorms.

Jack was looking forlornly at Lily. "Are you all right?' he asked, concern in his big brown eyes. "You look a little sad, Lily." Lily smiled despite herself. "I'm okay Jack. It's James that's a worry."

"That's a definite," said Jack, as he began to pack away the chess pieces- obviously his and Remus' game was over- "He went off at me in the Hall this mornin'. Looked very upset." 

"He is going through a bit of stress at the moment," Lily admitted, "his mum's a bit sick."

"That's no excuse," growled Evelyn, "NO. BLOODY. EXCUSE." She punched the table with every word for emphasis.

"Poor James," Jack said. 'I guess I can understand why he was a bit shitty."

Evelyn slapped him over the head. "Ow!" Jack squawked. "What was that fer?"

"Jasus, yeh got a mouth on yeh like a Limerick!" Evelyn snapped. "What do you mean, James got shitty?"

"T'was nothing," Jack said, holding his head and looking reproachfully at his sister. "T'was nothin' Eve!"

"Twas!" Evelyn shot back, raising her hand again, "I'll hit you if you don't say!"

Jack raised his hands defensively, "Ah! I was only askin' him if we were going to go out to practice, only he went off at me and sent me off to the pitch on me own…" he trailed away and looked upset. "I thought you and James were already broken up, Lily?"

Evelyn smacked him over the head. 

"Ow! Stoppit!"

"You mind yer own business, yeh stupid article." Evelyn chided.

"No, we weren't Jack," said Lily. "But…we are now. Forever, I should think."

*

Somehow, the news leaked out. James Potter and Lily Evans, formerly besotted with each other, had broken up. 

They had broken up. Finished. Sayonara. Au revoir. 

The end.

The majority of Hogwarts students responded to this with disbelief. James and Lily were the school's most prominently adorable couple. Breaking up seemed impossible. However, why not take advantage of it?

Within a week, Lily had been asked out by no fewer than thirteen boys, most of them in seventh year, but there were a particular group of fourth year boys that had something of a Lily Evans fan club.

"Look," she snapped, after yet another pimply adolescent stumbled up to her and stammered out confession of their undying love, "I really don't mean to be rude but can you and your little friends all just _bugger off_?"

The adolescent turned pale and mumbled an apology. 

The first week was definitely the worst, with whispers following her everywhere she went, the endless requests for her attention, the few students who threw all tact to the wind and went right up and asked her, "Are you and James Potter broken up?"

Yes, yes they were. Lily, after realising how hopeless it was to keep her personal business personal, made it perfectly clear. Yes, they were broken up; no, she wasn't insane; yes, it had been a mutual decision, no, they weren't going to get back together. Ever.

Even worse, Stephanie Brocklehurst seemed to have decided James was now her boyfriend, and took every care in spreading it delicately around the school. On more than one occasion Lily had heard her telling friends all about her kiss on the Quidditch pitch.

"And then he said, "I don't need her- I need you," and then, he kissed me!" she would say, and smile dreamily as her friends giggled and swooned. 

Evelyn was with Lily on one of these occasions. Outraged, she broke through the ring of Ravenclaw girls surrounding Stephanie and walked right up to her. Stephanie was a good two feet taller than Evelyn but still looked more than a little intimidated. 

"James kissed you? Oh, is _that_ what happened Stephanie?" Evelyn said sweetly. "But didn't you leave out the part where you grabbed James' face and shoved it into your padded bosom?"

Stephanie shot Evelyn a look of pure poison. "Actually, Evelyn, that never happened with me and James. But isn't that what you had to do to get Remus?"

Evelyn's eyes widened to twice her size and she leapt at Stephanie- luckily, Lily had been expecting this and was able to grab the back of Evelyn's robes before she actually touched her. Stephanie had leapt back, her eyes flashing. She smirked as she noticed Lily.

"Oh- hi there," she sneered, "I suppose your little friend is angry because she think I stole your boyfriend, right?"

Lily said nothing, just held on tighter to Evelyn's waist as the smaller girl struggled in her arms, and tried not to let her face show any of the black anger that was rising up her throat. "Well, just so you know, James came to me of his own accord. He needs someone who'll take care of him- not yell at him and treat him like shit." Her smirk widened. "But I guess we can't expect more from someone who so closely resembles shit herself."

Evelyn let out a scream of fury and it took all Lily's strength to keep her from flying at Stephanie. In fact, it was hard enough not to fly at Stephanie herself. There was a strange pounding in her ears, and it felt as though something was taking her throat and squeezing it with barbed wire hands. Stephanie stood with her arms crossed over her chest, smirking, waiting. It was Lily's move.

"Stephanie," said Lily through gritted teeth, "If I threw a stick would you leave?"

The ring of Ravenclaw girls gasped. Stephanie narrowed her eyes so far they were slits in her face.

"I think that's the pot calling the kettle black," she hissed. 'You know, it's no wonder James left you for me. He needs someone who'll take care of him- not a bitch like you." 

Lily counted to five slowly and then, with a tremendous effort, forced a smile onto her face. "You're right Stephanie," she said sweetly "James does need someone to take care of him. It won't be too long before you find that he's really just an immature childish git with his mind in his pants. So you're a perfect match, really."

To Lily's surprise, a big smile spread across Stephanie's face. "Oh, hi honey!" she said, looking past Lily to something behind. Lily swung around, swinging Evelyn along with her. James was standing behind her, watching the exchange with a totally blank expression on his face. He was looking at Lily- right into her face- and, though his face was a mask, Lily saw complete and utter pain in his blue eyes- pain caused by her. Her cheeks began to flush as she wondered just how much he'd seen. She realised that a crowd had formed around them, watching the exchange with unabashed fascination. 

"Cool it, Eve," said James quietly. Evelyn wrenched free of Lily's grip and shot James a glare that would have withered him, had he not been looking at Lily again with those pain-filled eyes.

"Damn it, James, you're such a bastard!" Evelyn said, "A bloody, bloody bastard."

"Um, _excuse me_," said Stephanie, stepping over and draping her arms around James' waist, "I'll thank you not to talk to my boyfriend like that." She narrowed her eyes at Lily, "Would you and your friends just stop treating him like crap?"

James and Lily continued staring at each other for a good five seconds. The silence in the corridor was thick and tenuous- you could have heard a pin drop.

"It's all right, Stephanie," he said finally. "Evelyn's right."

He deftly slipped out of Stephanie's grip and pushed past her to the marble staircase, leaving Lily wishing with all her heart that she could take back what she'd said.

*

Things got predominantly worse in the following weeks. James couldn't stand being around Lily any more, knowing that she hated him with all her might, knowing that it was impossible to be around her without thinking of the past and how happy they'd been. What went wrong?

"I did," James told himself miserably. "This is all my fault for kissing Stephanie Brocklehurst."

__

But it's not like you wanted to, said a little voice in his head,_ Besides, Lily was the one who told you to go away when all you wanted to of was tell her about your mother._

His mother. Another letter had come. His mother only had about a month and a half left to live, the doctors said. "She'll make it past Christmas, definitely. She's a fighter. But after that, it's a grey area. We don't know what will happen."

__

Why not? James wanted to scream. It was a doctor's JOB to know! What he really wanted to do was go home before term ended, but, afraid of what he might find, endeared to stay at school. Besides, the full moon was in a week- he wanted to stay for Remus' transformation. Without him as the stag, it was impossible to control Remus in werewolf form.

That was another thing, something James had completely forgotten about in his worry for his mother and the whole break up with Lily. Snape had been nosing around more than ever- he was desperate, it seemed, to know the secret of Remus' monthly disappearances. Now it seemed he had made the link between the full moon being in the sky every time Remus was away from school.

James was walking down the stairs to the Great hall with Evelyn and Remus one day (trying to ignore Evelyn's less than friendly demeanour towards him) when Snape appeared out of the dungeons. Lately, in a weird paradox, he was delighted every time he ran into Remus- it gave him more chances to search for clues. Remus, however, loathed Snape more than ever.

"Why, hello Remus," said Snape, in a nothing less than jovial tone.

"Oh, bloody hell," groaned Remus.

"Sod off," said Evelyn. Snape leered at her before turning back to Remus.

"So…full moon this week," he said, eyes glinting maliciously, "all packed and ready to go away again?"

"Snape, for the last time," Remus snapped, "you don't know what you are talking about. Would you just get over your weird obsession with me and sod off?!"

Snape sneered. "Well, Lupin, I hate to tell you this but the only reason I talk to a little piece of nothing like you is to find out what you're up to." 

"Oh, I'm crushed," Remus said sarcastically, rolling his eyes, "Look, freak, just keep your abnormally large nose out of business, okay?"

Snape leered maliciously and took a quick step towards Remus. Startled, Remus stumbled backwards- onto Lily.

"Careful!" she cried, grabbing Remus to stop him falling. James was surprised- how long had she been standing there? She glared angrily at Snape. "Are you fighting in the corridors again, Severus? You know I can take house points off for that."

Snape shot her an oily smile. "Oh, I'm sure you can, Evans. Do you take house points off for mysterious disappearances as well? Such as Lupin's every full moon?"

"That's it-" Remus snarled, but Lily and James both grabbed one of his arms (Lily neatly caught Evelyn by the shoulder as she did this- just in case).

"Remus' breaks from school are due to illness, Severus, and his absence is fully qualified by all the teachers and the Head Boy and myself. Am I correct, Potter?" Lily said calmly.

James looked at her quickly. It was the first time she'd spoken to him for a fortnight. She wasn't looking at him, just staring dispassionately at Snape, one hand firmly on Remus' and Evelyn's shoulders.

"She's right," James said, after a moment's indecision on what to say. Snape looked sulky.

"I'm so glad you're two are such a good team," he said petulantly, before turning on his heel and swishing into the Great Hall. Lily watched him all the way in.

"Bastard," said Remus angrily. "Why can't he leave me alone?"

Lily removed her hands from Remus' and Evelyn's shoulders. James turned to her, expecting her to say something but she merely walked ahead of them into the Great hall, head held high.

She sat next to Evelyn over dinner- when James came and sat opposite her she merely glanced at him once coldly and directed her attention to her potatoes. 

It was as though it was fifth year again- before anything had happened between himself and Lily. He remembered being fascinated by her- hating her guts sometimes, but at the same time being fascinated by the girl who so blatantly despised him when all other girls seemed to dissolve into fits of giggles whenever he was around. She was so curt and sensible, so serene and in control.

Too in control, thought James bitterly, to want a jerk like me around.

He couldn't help sneaking glances at her, to see what she was doing. She seemed distracted but too afraid to look up from her plate of dinner, which she hardly touched. It wasn't long before James could feel someone's gaze on him- he looked up and saw, to his surprise, Snape staring at him and Lily with a very cold smile on his face. James glared at Snape, until he realised it wasn't _him_ Snape was staring at, but Lily. Now why would he be doing that? James wondered. Suddenly Snape stood and walked over to the Gryffindor table, earning himself some curious stares as he passed. Slytherin and Gryffindor traditionally didn't associate with each other- well, unless they were antagonising each other. To James' greater surprise, Snape walked right up to Lily and tapped her on the shoulder. She looked up in surprise, distracted out of her reverie. "What do you want, Severus?"

"I wondered if I might have a word outside," he said, leering at her. Lily blinked her large green eyes in surprise. Warning bells went off in James' head, and he instinctively put a hand on her arm. She whipped her head around to face him and stared. He snatched his hand back as though he had been electrified and looked at his dinner, face burning. Lily opened her mouth to say something to him, but then turned back to Severus. "All right, then."

James watched them leaving, noticing that Lily shot him a glance over her shoulder as they left. What on earth could Snape possibly want to talk to Lily? Snape didn't talk, he molested! Lily was in trouble- he had to go and rescue her.

Just as he was about to leave his seat, he felt soft hands slip themselves around his neck and suddenly Stephanie was pulling herself onto his lap. "Oh- hello," he said. He hadn't even noticed her approach.

"Hey baby. I could see you looking sad so I thought I'd come and join you," she said, stroking his hair.

Sirius, sitting next to James, coughed into his hand, except it sounded oddly like "_Scrag!_"

James shot him a warning look- luckily Stephanie hadn't noticed. Evelyn, however, was glaring at Stephanie with unbridled venom. Ever since that incident in the corridors, Evelyn's dislike for Stephanie had reached new heights of complete and utter loathing. Remus was looking poker-faced. (James got the feeling he didn't like Stephanie much.)

"Oh, James, honey, that reminds me," Evelyn said loudly across the table, "I went to see Madame Pomfrey yesterday- she said that the inflammation will go down in a few days, but you should still keep using the ointment, okay?" Everyone around them snorted into their dinner, and James had to bite his lip very hard to keep from smiling. Stephanie shot Evelyn a look of pure poison.

"That's very funny, Evelyn. Shouldn't you be off making shoes for the fairies somewhere?" she said.

"Stephanie!" James gasped.

Remus had to hold Evelyn back while she growled a stream of abuse at Stephanie.

"Stop it, Eve, stop it!" Remus cried. He glared at Stephanie. 'I think we'll go upstairs."

"Watch out for Snape," James said, "He's in front of the marble staircase with…Lily…"

Remus nodded over his shoulder as he led Evelyn away, an arm protectively around her shoulders. Sirius got to his feet, looking at Stephanie with pronounced dislike. "I think I'll go upstairs too. Later, Prongs."

Stephanie immediately launched into a conversation about the next Hogsmeade visit. James didn't listen though. 

He'd known instinctively that Stephanie was false- that her bubbly demeanour was merely an act to make people like her. In his desperation for some comfort though…he'd been blinded. But now that he'd seen Stephanie maliciously insult Evelyn to her face- a racist insult, none the less- and to Evelyn. Evelyn, who was one of his best friends. Evelyn, who had known all along that he and Lily would get together. Evelyn, who was so fiercely loyal to Lily despite the fact that Lily had been so insensitive about James' problem.

And instead of defending her he had _Stephanie_ parked on his lap, Stephanie, who had said that Lily resembled shit, Stephanie, who hated his best friend Sirius and always had- Stephanie, who would throw herself at any boy in a Quidditch uniform.

Why was he holding her in his arms and not Lily?

"Excuse me Stephanie, I just remembered something I have to do," James said, extricating Stephanie's arms from around his neck and getting slowly to his feet.

"Oh- will I see you later?" she said, blinking prettily at him.

"I…don't think so," he said, and strode out of the hall.


	7. Battle of the Sexes

****

CHAPTER SEVEN: BATTLE OF THE SEXES

Lily, not without some confusion, followed Severus out of the hall. She could feel James' eyes watching her go. (Why did he keep on staring at her? He was only making things worse.)

They went to the foot of the marble staircase. Snape's face was devoid of his usual sneer; instead, he had a very serious expression.

"What's this about, Severus?" she asked, cautiously making there was as much room between them as possible.

"I've come to suggest a proposition to you," he said in his oiliest voice. "Far be it from _me_ to put the Head girl of Hogwarts in a compromising position- but I think you have certain information that will be of use to me."

Lily's baffled expression prompted him to explain further. "Lupin," he said, "is obviously hiding something. I know you know it's not illness."

Lily would have challenged this allegation had it not been true. Snape continued quickly, "Therefore, I suggest this: Potter's in on the secret- I know he is- and I know that you hang around Potter and his little gang more than I do. I also know that you and Potter have recently …ceased to function as a working couple."

"You seem to know a lot, don't you?" said Lily coolly. "What are you trying to say?"

Snape's eyes gleamed. "I am merely suggesting a truce. We can help each other find the secret of Lupin's disappearances. I know you want to know, Evans. This would be the perfect way of getting back at Potter. After all…he broke your trust, didn't he?" His face assumed a pained expression, "ran around behind your back with that tarty little Ravenclaw- he lied to you. Keeping this sordid secret of Lupin's is just another way of breaking your trust. Don't you want to know? Aren't you dying to show Potter-"

"What you're suggesting," Lily interrupted, 'Is that I will…spy, on Remus, so that I can find out the secret?" 

"Spying is such a strong word," leered Snape, "It's just that you'll be able to keep a closer watch on them than I can. You know as well as I do that those four can't be up to something entirely innocent. I mean, look at Potter- he's not to be trusted. Is he?" Lily stared at him, keeping her face blank. Snape's suggestion was sounding increasingly more appealing. Why shouldn't she team up with Snape.? The boy was obviously intelligent. Together, she knew they could crack the case- eugh, no, what was she _thinking_?! This was Severus Snape- the boy who had tried to molest her in fifth year. She couldn't possibly team up with James' enemy in order to sneakily find out the answer to a question he obviously didn't want her to know. Could she?

__

Well, he shouldn't have lied to you, said the spiteful little voice inside her head. _It's not _your_ fault he's keeping secrets. You don't have any from him, do you?_

"Do we have a deal?" said Snape, holding out his pale, thin-fingered hand. Lily's brain went through a battle as the two options were laid out before- side with Snape, or be loyal to James? Could she…couldn't she…

Lily brought her own hand out of her pocket and slowly moved towards Snape. But then, she realised what she was doing. "No!" she cried. 'No! I can't do that! Sorry, Severus, but the answer is n-"

At that moment, the doors to the Great hall flew open and Evelyn and Remus strode in, closely followed by Sirius. As soon as the doors had swung shut behind them, Evelyn turned to Remus and started shouting.

"I HATE that BITCH! WHY don't you say something to James and get him to break up with her! She only hangs around because she thinks she and James are and ITEM! He's such a DICKLESS WONDER! He can't possibly really like her! Everyone knows the cow threw herself at him to break James and Lil up, that STUPID UGLY SCRAG!"

"Look, would you just _calm down_?" Remus said firmly, "You're making a scene. This isn't any easier on James, you know, how do you think he feels when we sit there insulting Stephanie?"

Evelyn balled her fists angrily. "What d'you want me do to, squeal with excitement whenever she's around? Say, "oh good, it's James Potter and Stephanie Slut-face!"?"

"I just wish you wouldn't be so obvious-" Remus started soothingly.

"Remus, yeh don't get it- I _hate_ her. I hate her even more than Mr. Potato Head, and Christ knows I'm gonna kill that little bastard one day!"

Remus however, seemed to have finally noticed Lily's presence. "Erm- normally I'd agree with you Eve, but, er- well, I don't really think it's so sensible to be screaming about Lily's love life when she's right behind you…"

Evelyn wheeled around, took in the sight of Lily and Snape together and turned back to Remus. "You're right, good point love,' she said, devoid of anger. She grabbed Remus by the hand and tried to march him up the staircase and pretend nothing had happened. "Evelyn," said Lily with a sigh. 

Evelyn turned, looking guilty. "Yes Lil?"

"It's really sweet of you to get mad on my behalf," said Lily with a smile, "but you're wrong. Stephanie doesn't _think_ she and James are an item- they _are_ an item. James has never been one to hide his true feelings, and I have no hesitation in saying that if James wanted to break up with her, he would." She looked down at her feet. Four sets of eyes were intently watching her. "He wouldn't have let this happen if he didn't want it to. I know him. He…he doesn't need me. He needs her."

"Lil, that's not true-" Evelyn burst out. Lily held up her hand. 

"It is, Evelyn, it is…if I pretend that he still does need me, it'll only make it worse. You told me to get over it quickly remember? Like ripping off a bandaid?"

Evelyn stared at her for a moment. Then she ran down the steps to hug her. "I'm sorry Lily," she said. "You're right."

"That's not, of course, to suggest…that you need him?" Remus said timidly. The doors swung open again.

Lily looked up at him sharply. "I can assure you Remus, that James Potter is the last person I need."

"Oh," said Sirius suddenly. James had just walked in. Everyone turned to stare at him. His gaze passed over Lily standing with her arm around Evelyn, Snape with a malicious smile on his face, Remus halfway up the marble staircase, Sirius poker faced and looking at the ground- it must have looked a little bit strange.

"What?" said James. "Why're you all staring at me?"

"No reason," said Sirius quickly. James looked from Lily to Snape and back again.

He ran a hand through his hair in consternation. "Is he…was he…I mean, did he, you know…is he bothering you?"

Lily looked at Snape. "Does it look like it, Potter?" she said coldly.

"No-ooo…I just thought…" he suddenly straightened up and assumed a poker face. "Never mind. I was only concerned that Severus may be once again, invading the personal space of certain female students."

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. "Your concern is noted and appreciated, but I hardly think it necessary as Severus is nothing less than a gentleman, and I can take care of myself."

Evelyn grinned. So did Snape. Remus and Sirius looked less than amused though. James smiled- but it was an odd smile. It was a cold, twisted, thin lipped smile, and it looked so strange on James' fresh, pleasant face that Lily's serene expression faltered for a micro second.

"I'm quite aware of your own capabilities, Evans," James said curtly, "it's not hard to notice that you have complete and utter confidence in yourself to the point of, shall we say…self satisfaction? Self righteousness?"

Sirius looked alarmed. He shifted closer to James surreptitiously, while Evelyn squeezed Lily's hand and glared at James. Lily however, looked perfectly calm.

"Why thank you Potter- I'll take it as a compliment-"

"Please do," interjected James.

"-but surely a gentleman like yourself can recognise, not self righteousness, but a confidence in my own abilities as should befit the Head Girl of Hogwarts. It's my duty to exhibit an air of responsibly as certain other people in the same position do not achieve this." _Take that_ she thought triumphantly. James just grinned.

"Well if we're going to have a battle of wits, Evans, why play your trump card so early in the game?" James said.

"What are you trying to say?" Lily asked, raising her eyebrows provocatively.

"I'm sorry, is my answer supposed to be in the form of a question?" James countered.

"Can I help it if you don't understand? You can't leave it up to everyone else to explain things for you," Lily rejoined.

"I never used to have to- until I got involved with you. Involved with girls, that is." said James dangerously.

"Out of line!" objected Evelyn.

"I don't understand the point you're making, Mister Potter. If this is merely a battle of the sexes in which we pull apart each other's gender in order to expose each other's faults, then I forfeit immediately."

"Scared?' James challenged.

"No, I just think it would be too easy."

"Hah!" James let out a short bark of a laugh, "At least put some imagination into your excuse!"

"Not everything's a game," Lily rejoined coldly.

"Be honest with me Evans-" James started, walking towards her

"If that's a concept you understand," Lily interjected neatly.

"Ouch!" said Sirius.

"What pleasure do you find in making sure there's no fun in the world?" James continued.

"About as much pleasure as you find in making sure there's no order," Lily replied.

"And what do you call order?' he challenged.

"I don't understand the question," she said, "Surely my idea of order is the same as everyone else's."

"Go on then," said James.

Lily stared for a moment. "Order is…order is…the opposite of chaos, it keeps us all together and ensures less conflict."

James snorted. "Go on, please."

"Rules, organisation, reliability, confidence," Lily listed, ticking off on her fingers, "a sense of justice, a sense of righteousness, a willingness to work, responsibility, dependability, sensibility, and oh yes- here's one you won't know- monogamy." Evelyn clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from sniggering. Remus gave an audible gasp. Sirius seemed either about to burst out laughing or leap to James' defence. And Snape watched with oily interest, the whole time. 

"Low blow," said James without a trace of a smile on his face now.

"You deserve it," said Lily.

"You know," said James, "There's such a thing as being _too_ honest."

"Well, you would say that. Being as you are, a perfect example of a cocksure young man in his prime whose nature it is to lie and who thinks that he can get any girl to do whatever he wants. Well, _not me_." Her voice was fierce, and she was glaring at James. James paused, and then spoke slowly.

"If it's my nature to lie then why are you getting so angry?" he said. "How well do you pretend to know me, Lily?" He looked at her searchingly but she turned away. James smiled without any mirth. "Well, I'm sick of this. I am bloody- sodding-well sick of THIS!" he advanced towards her slowly, his heavy steps punctuating his words. "I try to be honest with you but you push me away! I try to be affectionate but you tell me I'm distracting! I try to…I try to be all that a boyfriend should be but YOU WON'T LET ME. And now, when I need you most you tell me to grow up and tell me to sort out my own little problems! Are you listening to me?" She was, but couldn't look at him. She couldn't look at his angry face when she was feeling so guilty. 

"I just wish you wouldn't lie, James."

A laugh forced its way out of him- a mirthless, incredulous laugh. "You are UNBELIEVABLE! Do you hear me? UN-SODDING- BELIVEABLE!" the last word came out as a scream. Evelyn wasn't sniggering anymore. Nor was Snape, or Sirius. In fact, everyone on the marble staircase was looking at James with absolute fright. No one had ever seen him this angry- where was the James they knew? 

"For heaven's sake stop shouting!" Lily snapped. "I'm not unbelievable James, I'm just being honest! You think you tell the truth? Okay then! Tell us about Remus, James, tell us all!"

"What the hell are you TALKING about?"

"I asked you for honesty. Where do you go every full moon? You gave me some lame excuse about Honeydukes!" To her despair, she felt tears stinging the back of her eyes and throat. (Oh not. Not tears. Not now.) "Well I'm sick of it too, James! I'm sick of you never being completely honest. You and Sirius and Remus- you have your little gang but you were supposed to _love me,_ not segregate me into another little compartment of your life! Then one day- my birthday on Halloween- you just…stopped talking! You sneak out every full moon, giving me no answer to where you're going. I mean, I don't know if you're out doing something dangerous where you could get hurt- and knowing you, it probably is! Excuse me if I worry, but I can't help it- I care…d about you. I cared about you, a lot, and…and you cheated on me." Somehow the tears had fought their way through and were now blurring her vision. She hurriedly wiped her eyes. "You're a pathetic excuse for a boyfriend, you know. I had every right to dump you and now you're pretending that I've done you some great injustice!" 

"Is it any wonder that I had to go to Stephanie? You were out for my blood!"

"Well I know what _you_ were out for, you bastard," said Lily harshly. There was a lump in her throat that was constricting her words. "Didn't mean anything to you? I mean…that whole year together?"

"Of course it did," James cried angrily, "It showed never to go for the girl who's in control- she'll just screw you around. It's not worth it."

"You're right, it wasn't worth it," Lily snapped back, "That's how you made me feel, anyway! Like nothing! And now you know how it feels- you are nothing to me James Potter, and the only reason I'm still talking to a little piece of nothing like you is to tell you that whatever you might think, I'm glad we're not still together. You say that everyone's leaving you, why don't you ASK YOURSELF WHY?!"

A great ringing silence. Tears finally pushed their way out of Lily's eyes and down her cheeks. Now she could see James' face, see the pain in his eyes, see the tears on his own cheeks as well. He laughed- a hollow, mirthless laugh.

"A touch! An undeniable touch!" he cried. "Miss Evans, I think you won, using your own personal style: If going around them doesn't work, just crush them." He walked up the marble staircase. "Hell, if it works on everyone else, why not use it on me? I am, after all, nothing." He pushed his way past Remus.

"James-"

"I'm going up to my dorm now," said James, not pausing in his march, "And I don't want you to follow me up there, got that?"

"Of course, but-"

"Goodnight."

Evelyn was still squeezing Lily's hand very hard. "You okay?' she asked softly.

Lily's eyes hadn't left the spot where James had been standing. "Fine..."

Snape was looking blank. "Well, well, Evans. Obviously you and Potter aren't such a team after al-"

Sirius marched over and grabbed Snape by the front of his robes. "Go away!" he yelled gratingly, shaking Snape roughly, "just go away and leave us alone! This is all your fault! Everything's your entire fault! You slimy, horrible piece of sh- "

"Sirius!" said Lily sharply. "Go back to your common room, please Severus. This is no longer any of your business."

"Not that is was in the first place," said Remus quietly as Snape straightened his robes and looked malevolently at Sirius.

"Severus," said Lily. He turned. "I don't want any more offers like that from you, understand? Or I'll take it to Dumbledore that you're harassing us." Snape muttered something under his breath and sidled off to the dungeons.

Sirius looked at her with hollow eyes. "What offer? Did he try to molest you again? I'll beat his bloody brains out!"

"Nothing like that," said Lily softly. Venting all her anger left her curiously unaffected. She felt fuzzy inside, almost as though she was dreaming. But it wasn't a dream, and she really had said those things to James. Where had that merciless anger come from that would make her do that? How had she turned into such a ruthless creature, someone who would call a beautiful person like James a "little piece of nothing" without a second thought? 

"What's happening to me?" she whispered.

"Lily?" With a jolt, Lily realised that Evelyn, Remus and Sirius were all still staring at her.

"Are you all right?" Sirius asked, moving over to her and putting a hand on her arm.

There was that question again. "I'm fine," she replied yet again, wondering if there was any real truth to her standard answer. "It's James that's a worry."

*

Christmas drew closer. The list came around for people to put their names down if they were staying at Hogwarts. For the first time ever, James didn't put his name on the list. It wasn't that he didn't like spending Christmas with his parents, usually, it was just that Christmas at Hogwarts was always such a joy. He was going to miss it when he left school. Sirius and Remus weren't sure if they should put their names on the list, worried that they should go home for the sake of James but he refused to let them.

"Look, this is our last Christmas at Hogwarts. I can't let you go home for it!" he had said, 'besides, it'll be easer for me to owl you this way- if you're both in one spot. Yeah?"

"I suppose so," said Sirius, and gave him that grave, searching look that so frequently passed over his features these days. The day before term ended, James, Sirius and Remus took off to the library. James was intending to charm Madame Pince into letting him get out a few books over the break that would help him with his History of magic Essay- assuming he would get it done at all. The prospect of going home had never depressed him more. He wanted to see his mother of course- but not laid up in a hospital bed, dying and weak and helpless. That wasn't his mother. She had always been a strong, boisterous woman, fond of Quidditch and fiercely loyal to her family. And now she had to leave them…

"James? Hello?" Sirius was snapping his fingers in front if his face.

"Sorry, what?"

"I said, what topic have you chosen for the essay?"

"Umm…" James looked at the task sheet, "The fall of the wizard's council."

"Oh," said Sirius, and exchanged a glance with Remus. (They were doing that more and more often these days.) 

"What?" said James, raising his eyebrows.

"Nothing," said Sirius. He cleared his throat, 'it's just that…that's the same one Lily chose."

James looked at the sheet. He didn't care. His contact with Lily since the incident at the marble staircase a week and a half ago had been isolated into one singular incident: he had run into her in the prefect's bathroom. She had been getting out of the swimming pool sized bath in her bathers, sending droplets of water onto his robes. She had turned around to see it who it was, and seeing it was him, assumed a poker face. James passed her to go to the toilets while she dried her hair. "James-" she had said suddenly. He had turned. "Yes?"

But she shook her head and continued drying her hair. James wished she hadn't done it. The use of his name- it made him almost think there nearly might be and ghost of chance that Lily might barely care for him- but that was ridiculous. Her words echoed in his head.

__

"The only reason I'm still talking to a little piece of nothing like you is to tell you, whatever you might think, I'm glad we're not still together!" 

"Ouch," said James softly to himself, taking up his quill and parchment.

Soon after he went to find a book on the subject. A term's worth of goofing off in class had left him without much knowledge of the subject, and he realised just how far behind he was with a sinking feeling in his stomach. After finding as many books as he could carry, James staggered back to their table, only to smack into someone. It was- you guessed it- Lily. She bent down to help him pick up his books without saying a word.

"Um…thanks," he said, dropping to his knees. She didn't answer, just handed him a pile of books and got back up to her feet, pushing her hair out of her eyes as she did so. "Um," she said, "here," and handed him a small crystal bottle filled with purple liquid, along with a card. 

"Thanks…" he looked at her quizzically. She didn't look him in the eye.

"It's for your mum," she answered, "Um…rosemary, tea leaves and dragon's blood. It's um…supposed to-"

"Cleanse the system, I know," interjected James, "Thank you. She'll appreciate it."

"Tell her I hope she feels better…" said Lily and faltered as she realised what she'd said.

"Um…she's not going to get better Lily," James said softly, his brow furrowing.

"I…know, I…" Lily said, and shook her head. She passed him, placing her hand very briefly and softly on his arm and mumbling something under her breath. If James didn't know any better he would have thought she'd said 'I'm sorry."

He made his way back to the table, pocketing Lily's vial of liquid. 

"Ah, James," said a familiar voice suddenly. "Getting a start on the holiday homework I see. Good, marvellous." James looked round his stack of books to see Professor Dumbledore smiling at him. "I wondered if I might have a word," he said.

"Of course, professor," James answered, straining with his massive pile of books, "But I'm a bit stuck here."

"Oh? Oh, I see-" the headmaster drew his wand and waved it, "Wingardium Leviosa," he said, and the stack of books hovered out of James' hands and onto the floor. "Outside, if you don't mind," he said, smiling warmly at James, "I have often been reprimanded by Madame Pince for talking in the library and I fear if am caught again she'll ban me."

James obediently followed the Headmaster outside to the corridor, where the old man laid a hand on his shoulder. "Walk with me, James." So James walked alongside Dumbledore in silence for a while, wondering what could have conjured up such a grave look on the normally smiling face. Finally he said, "I am sorry, James. I have been neglecting my duties as a headmaster."

James was mystified. "Sir?"

Dumbledore fixed James with a piercing blue eyed look. "Your mother, James. I'm quite aware of her condition. And I'm sorry I have not yet had the chance to talk with you."

"Ah," said James (so this is what it was about). "It's all right, really Professor."

"Alas," sighed Dumbledore, "It is not all right James. It's far from all right."

"Oh," said James in confusion. "I…didn't realise my situation was so bad."

"Of course not, of course not," said the Professor sadly, "You have tried to convince yourself not to care to get over this. Alas," he said again, with a much deeper sigh, "It is always a terrible thing in a young lover."

By now James was extremely confused and more than a little bit disturbed. "Professor," he said, "I'm afraid I haven't a clue what you're talking about."

Dumbledore looked at him mistily. "Ah, yes…one is often baffled amidst the pieces of a broken heart. I have seen Miss Evans since it happened- she too was baffled beyond belief.

Ah. So this was _really_ what it was about. "Professor Dumbledore," James said patiently, "I don't have a broken heart. Nor does Lily. We broke up because we…wanted to." _Because _she _wanted to, _James added silently.

"But that's not all, is it?" Dumbledore said. "There are other forces involved…I know you never meant to do anything wrong, James."

"I'm afraid I'm still lost here, Professor," said James, wondering if the Professor was talking about what James thought he was talking about. Could he possibly know about the kiss on the Quidditch pitch with Stephanie?

"Lost, yes…we're all lost…" said the Professor, staring out a window with a dreamy expression on his face. "Without love to guide us, we're all lost…just like a puppy in the woods…"

"Professor!"

"What?" The Professor snapped out of his reverie. "Er…yes, quite…anyway James I just wanted to make sure that you were coping- what with the added pressure of your home life and all, I just thought you might be in need of some guidance…"

"I'm doing fine, thank you professor," said James, smiling at him. "I was a bit upset when I first heard but I'm going home tomorrow so hopefully things shouldn't be too bad."

"Ah yes…you are a young man who has a perfect gauge of his feelings," said Professor Dumbledore, smiling mistily at him. "But I wish you would take heed of some guidance…"

"Which guidance, sir?"

"Follow your heart," said Professor Dumbledore dreamily, "Only then will your true feelings be shown, James. It is our choices, not our actions who truly define who we are."

James nodded. "Er…yes sir."

"Now I must take my leave. But you will remember what I said, won't you?"

"Yes sir," said James again. Dumbledore gave him a sad smile and wandered off.

James shook his head and walked back to library. Dumbledore was wrong…(and quite insane). What was the point of following a heart in pieces?

*

Christmas Eve, Lily woke up with the sound of familiar voices next to her.

"…you know, Remus, this whole thing reminds me of a muggle movie I once saw-"

"Are movies those things with the big moving pictures?"

"Yeah- it was set in France right? There was this girl who was desperately in love with this penniless writer but she had to marry this ugly Duke, right? The duke found out and decided that if the penniless writer and the girl didn't break up, then he'd have they writer killed. And the girl, who was like, a prostitute dancing girl, right, had to pretend not to love him to send him away."

"I see…so what happened in the end?"

"Oh, she died. There was this big song at the end all about how much they love each other and then she coughed up blood and fell over."

"Right. So, despite the fact that there are absolutely no writers, dukes, songs or prostitutes involved, and we are not in France…Lily and James' situation reminds you of that movie."

"Yeah, it's spooky. D'you think if we killed Lily then James would love her again?"

"I don't know. He might be a bit pissed off with us."

"Well, we can always try, I suppose-"

Lily turned over and looked at them. "Good morning," she said, shielding her eyes against the winter sunlight that was shining through her window and onto her bed. Sirius and Remus looked at her and grinned.

"Hi!" Sirius said, smiling winningly. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Baffled," said Lily, propping herself up onto her elbows. 'What time is it?"

"Ten thirty," said Remus. Lily sat up straight.

"Ten thirty- oh my god, I'm late! What lesson do we have first?"

"Calm down, deary, it's holidays, remember?" Sirius said, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Oh…good," said Lily, lying down again. "In that case why are you two in my dorm?"

"Evelyn invited us in," said Remus. Lily looked around for her friend. "She's in the shower", Remus explained. 

Lily sat up again. "What day is it?"

"The dey, it's Chis'mas Eve dey," said Sirius in his best cockney accent.

"Hmm," said Lily. She swung her leg over the side of the bed and shoved her feet in her slippers. "Already. This year's going fast."

"It's supposed to be the best year of our lives," said Sirius. "Final year of high school and all that." There was a resentful tone to his voice that made Lily turn around to look at him. He and Remus were looking very grave indeed.

"What?" she said. "Are you not having fun this year Sirius?"

"No. Want to know why?"

"You realised we actually have to do homework?" quipped Lily, pulling her bathrobes on over her pyjamas.

"_No_. It's because of the emotional roller coaster that has been our lives this year." Sirius said, melodramatically. "And we all know why, don't we?"

"No. Indulge me," said Lily, though she thought she knew what was coming.

"You and James."

"Of course," said Lily.

Remus put a hand on Sirius' arm. "Shut up for a moment Padfoot. Lily-" he assumed an understanding expression. "I know what you're going to say. It's none of our business -"

"Spot on," said Lily, rolling her eyes and opening her trunk.

"-but the fact is, it kind of is our business." Lily gave him an unamused look so Remus hastened to explain. "Look- you and James are my best friends-"

"Hey!"

"And you Padfoot. So…when you're upset, I'm upset. When you guys are upset, I want to do everything in my power to make it better."

"Well, some things can't be made better with a mug of butterbeer and a joke about blondes," Lily said, slamming the lid of her trunk for effect. She began brushing her hair roughly. 

"That reminds me- I've got this really good one about women with red hair, Lily, you'll like it-" Sirius said. Remus elbowed him in the ribs and continued. "We realise that, and we know that James' problem this year aren't entirely to do with you. But..." he sighed unresolvedly. "He needs you, Lily. He needs someone like you to get through this."

Lily paused in her hair abuse. "He said that, did he?"

"Well, no…but…"

"Remus," said Lily, marching over to her bed and pushing her pillows onto the floor. "I appreciate your concern, I really do. But James and I know how we feel without you two telling us. I don't need him and he- does-not-need-me."

She looked at them with her hands on her hips. "Now please get off my bed so that I can make it."

"And then, you can lie in it!" Sirius quipped.

"Ah ha ha ha," said Lily sarcastically. "I'm serious, dungbrain."

"No you're not, I am!" Sirius said, grinning.

Lily groaned. So did Remus. "All right, we get it! Your name sounds like the word serious. It was hilarious the first six hundred times. Now- get off my bed!"

Remus and Sirius obediently stood. The dorm door opened and Jack O'Kelly walked in, carrying Evelyn's pet cat Sneezy in his arms. "What are you doing in here, Jack?" Sirius asked.

"I might ask you the same question," Jack said, "I hope you're not planning anything vulgar in my sister's dorm."

"No, but I am!" Sirius said. Remus smacked him over the head. "I was only joking, Moony."

Jack let Sneezy drop to the floor. "I just wanted to give Evie her cat. Stupid thing's dropping turds all over the common room. I don't know why she doesn't house train it. It drives mamma mad." He looked at Sirius and Remus standing against the dorm wall. "What are _you_ two doing in here?"

"Trying to convince dear Lileah that James still cares about her." Sirius said pleasantly.

Lily felt like kicking him. Why did they insist on doing that? It gave her faint glimmers of hope that James wasn't actually such a bastard and might nearly care for her just an itty-bitty bit. "News Flash for Mr. Black," she said through gritted teeth. "In case you hadn't heard- HE DOESN'T!" she screamed.

Sirius jumped back in surprise and hit his elbow on the wall. "Ow! Crikey!" 

"What makes you so sure?" Remus asked quickly.

Lily threw her pillow at him. "Go ask Stephanie Brocklehurst and she'll tell you the story!"

"I don't want to ask Stephanie Brocklehurst," said Remus, looking puzzled. "I want to ask you."

"RRGH!" Lily gave a cry of frustration, "You know it already Remus, She's only been telling anyone who'll listen, including Professor McGonagall!"

Remus grinned. "Indulge me."

Lily groaned. "All right then! James went out to the Quidditch pitch after I basically acted like a merciless ice bitch and yelled at him, Stephanie followed him, asked him what was wrong, and acted all sweet and pretended that she actually cared. Then James said, "I don't need her, I need you," and kissed her. Okay? Okay! Everyone's knows that's what happened, so everyone can just leave me and James alone and let us get on with our lives separately-"

"No it didn't," said Jack suddenly. Everyone in the room turned to stare at him. "That's not what happened," he said, looking puzzled. Lily rubbed her eyes and tried not to get exasperated. "Yes it was Jack, you can ask anyone."

"But I haven't," said Jack. "I didn't need to."

"Why not?' said Remus, moving over to Lily and putting a hand on her back, seeing that she was looking like she was either about to scream and run at Jack or burst into tears and throw herself out the dorm window.

"Well…I was there, wasn't I?" said Jack.

Once again, all three of them stared at the second year with total astonishment. "What?" said Sirius finally.

"Well, said Jack, "Remember how you told me to go out onto the pitch and practice by myself?"

"No…" said Sirius, scratching his head.

"I do," said Remus quickly. "Go on."

"Well, I did. And I was sitting by the broomshed polishing me Shooting Star, and, er, James came runniin' out onto the pitch. He stood right in the middle and screamed like a banshee- I was going to go and see if he was okay…. but then he sort of collapsed and started cryin' so I though I'd better see if I could sneak away, so he wouldn't know anyone had seen him cryin'. But then the Ravenclaw girl came runnin' out after him- by that time I was behind the goalpost and near enough to hear 'em."

Lily, speechless, sat down on her bed, mouth hanging open. Remus sat down beside her, looking excited.

"Go on. What did they say?"

"Well…" Jack frowned as he tried to remember, "Ah…let's see…She kind of hugged him and said "Och, yeh poor boy" a couple of times…then she…insulted Lily fer a bit and then. Let's see…she was kinda movin' closer and closer and James said…let me think…" he scratched his mop of curls. "Ah, yes, "You're wrong" he said, and she said, "she's not worth it, and James said, 'yes she is," and then Stephanie made her move on him, and James said…" A deeper frown appeared on his face. 'Oh, yeah: "Don't. I love her."

Lily made a high pitched noise and clapped her hands to her mouth. Tears were filling her eyes. Remus hugged her.

"See? I told you Lily, I told you!" he laughed. "He loves you- he really does."

Jack was looking upset. "I'm sorry Lily—I, I didn't realise you didn't know the real story. I thought you and James had already broken up by then- I thought…I thought…"

"No, jack…It's not your fault- it's all mine," Lily said. A sinking feeling was pervading her stomach. How could she have let this happen? Why did she never bother to find out he real story from James? "This is all my fault," she said, and began sobbing. Remus, alarmed, patted her on the shoulder. "How can he ever forgive me? His m-mother is dying and I b-broke up with him because S-Stephanie k-kissed him!"

"Lily- don't cry," Remus said, looking concerned. "Help me out here Padfoot."

"Er- right you are, Moony." Sirius leapt onto Lily's bed and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Lily- you've got to go tell him how you fell- now!"

"I c-can't- he's g-gone home for the holidays…"

"The train doesn't leave until eleven," Sirius cried, "There's still time!"

"Yeah!" Remus said, pulling her to her feet. Lily looked at Remus' wristwatch. Sirius was right- it was a quarter to eleven." But I won't make it to Hogsmeade in time…" she said desperately.

"You will if you GO NOW!" Sirius said urgently. "Come on, you can do it!"

Lily knew it. She nodded, and, stopping only to grab Jack in a tight hug and plant a kiss on his cheek, she ran out of the dorm. Down the stairs, down into the Entrance Hall, through the Hogwarts grounds, narrowly missing Hagrid's pumpkin patch, to where the horseless carriages were. She leapt into one, gasping "Hogsmeade, please" as she did so. The carriage trundled off, zooming over bumpy ground, clattering over the rocky path to the village. By the time she got there it was two minutes until the train was to leave. She ran down the high street in her pyjamas, robes flapping, fluffy slippers stumbling over the icy ground, not knowing what she would say, not knowing what she would do, not knowing how she would get James to forgive her. She skidded into the station and aw the Hogwarts Express readying to leave. The bright red steam engine tooted its whistle. "All aboard!" she heard the driver roar. Slowly, the wheels of the train began to squeal and stutter as it started to move. "James!" Lily gasped. She ran alongside the train, looking up into the windows, earning herself a few very odd stares as she did so. Then she saw him as a cloud of steam blew away- staring moodily out the window of his compartment, leaning his head against the cool glass.

"James!" she yelled, waving her hands. 'James!" It was too late- the train was moving. "JAMES!" she screamed. He looked as though he had heard something, looked around- and there, he spotted her! An utter look of astonishment passed over his face. He stood up and slid open his compartment window, poking his head out.

"Lily?" he shouted over the chugging train wheels. "What are you—" the last part of his sentence was drowned out by the sound of the stand by whistle. Lily started jogging to keep up with the train as it pulled out of the station.

"James!" she yelled above the noise. "I'm sorry! I, I…" she didn't know what else she could say, 'Please don't go, I have to talk to you!"

He cupped a hand to his ear. "WHAT?" he bellowed over the noise of the train, which was chugging faster. Lily broke into a run. "I said, I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY JAMES!" He stared at her in disbelief as she sprinted to keep up with him…but the train was pulling out of the station… moving away…James waved to her as he went further away.

"Don't go…" she panted desperately…"James…" she stumbled and fell to her knees in the snow. "Dammit!" she slammed both her fists into the ground in frustration. Tears welled up into her eyes as she looked at the steam engine growing further and further away, and taking James with it.


	8. Absolutely One Hundred Percent Corking

****

CHAPTER EIGHT: ABSOLUTELY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CORKING

As his father's only son, James was heir to the Potter fortune. The Potters were pure blood as far back as thirty generations, and certain family traditions were always upheld. One of these was the taking over of the family business, which James was also expected to do. And, in the event of his father's death, James would be named the sole heir of all the wealth and properties that belonged to the family. Not many people knew just how wealthy the Potters were- only James' closest friends and other old wizarding families, of course. Not even Lily had known just how rich he was until she came to stay with James during the summer. It was the house that really gave it away. 

The Potters homestead (named "Glencoe") had been in the family for years and years. It was a stately, grand old house in Dorset, practically a mansion in its entirety. It was a traditional English country house, with rolling green lawns and stables and housekeepers. Part of a small collection of other such houses in the shire, owned by other wealthy families. Normally these muggle families would associate with each other and vie for the highest position in the social set- but the Potters were subject to a lot of malicious gossip. Everyone knew they were strange, with their odd coloured smoke curling out of the chimneys and letting owls fly in and out of their windows. One of their nearest neighbours swore she saw a horse with wings lighting on the lawn once- but no one believed her. The Potters didn't really mind that they were gossipped about and feared by their Muggle neighbours, it didn't really bother them. Besides- in the wizarding world they were quite popular. (The flying horse, by the way, belongs to James. It was a birthday present from his grandfather.)

About half an hour's distance from Glencoe was the town, and since the doctors had confirmed their worst fears about Mrs. Potter she had requested to be moved back to the town, so as to be closer to her town.

The hospital was where James was now. Yawning, he leaned back in his seat and tried not to think about Lily. But it was hard. The last time he had seen her she had been tripping over her slippers as she ran alongside the Hogwarts Express in her _pyjamas_, for some odd reason, yelling to him about being _sorry_. If that wasn't bizarre…

Absent mindedly, he put his hand in his pocket and brought out the now half empty vial Lily had given him in the library. He hadn't told his mother about breaking up with Lily yet- he knew it would only upset her, as she was extremely fond of Lily and thought she was perfect for James. (So did James.)

"Here," he had said the previous day (Christmas Day), bringing it out of his pocket, "I forgot- Lily gave this to me for you." His mother had take the bottle and looked at it. "Ah…rosemary and dragon's blood," she had said. "This is a very old kind of curative." She'd smiled. "Lily's very wise. How is she, dear?"

"Fine," James had said, even though he didn't really know. His mother had taken two doses of the potion and then fallen asleep. It was horrible to see her so…helpless. 

Now the doctors were running more tests on her, and he was waiting for the results. His dad had gone home to do something with the finances. He wasn't exactly sure why the doctors were running tests so late in the game- they'd already confirmed his mother was dying, so why did they have to continue? 

"Mr…Potter?" said someone. Doctor Fitzgerald, white-coated and grey haired, entered the waiting room, carrying a clipboard. James got to his feet. "Yes?"

The doctor was studying the clipboard with an expression of absolute amazement. "I have some rather…good news."

James blinked. "Okay…" he said slowly. "What is it?"

The doctor cleared his throat. "Um…" he said, "It's your mother, she…well, you recall I said that after Christmas she would begin to deteriorate in earnest?"

"How could I forget?" said James humourlessly.

"Well, the fact of the matter is, Mr. Potter, erm, she's…not."

"Huh?"

"She's not…deteriorating. In fact she's gotten stronger. Ahem- a lot stronger."

James blinked again. "I'm sorry?"

"Well, take a look at the chart- as you can see her system is coping quite well with the virus and is, in fact staring to combat it, whereas before she let it consume her."

James swallowed hard. "So…what you're saying is…she's getting better?"

The doctor smiled. "Mr. Potter, that is exactly what I'm saying. And judging by this, I would say that she will continue to get better." 

James felt dizzy- he leant against the wall, a huge grin spreading across his face. This was too good to be true.

"Is this…some sort of…post Christmas miracle or what, doctor?"

"It does appear to be, Mr. Potter." The doctor looked at his chart again. "We have no idea as to what actually started this remarkable change."

James looked at the vial in his hand and started to laugh. Of course. Only a force like Lily could bring about changes like this. 

The doctor looked quite alarmed. "Are you all right, Mr Potter? Can I get you anything?"

James laughed some more and suddenly hugged the doctor tightly. "No. The only thing I need is miles away right now. But thanks for asking."

"Are-are you sure you're all right?" the doctor asked, breathlessly, highly unsettled by James' odd behaviour.

"Doctor, I assure you- I am absolutely, one hundred percent corking!"

*

Miles away, in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Lily wasn't doing so corkingly. She had spent Christmas day moping around the common room, wishing James was there. No amount of attempts by Remus, Sirius, Evelyn and Ingrid could cheer her up- she was miserable. She wished she'd listened to James. He'd actually said, "I didn't kiss _her_- she kissed _me_!" But she hadn't listened.

She'd acted hastily and in doing so, broken James' heart. He'd probably never forgive her- looking back on all the nasty things she'd said to him made her almost nauseous with shame. She'd ruined any chance she would ever have with the boy she loved. It was almost too terrible to bear.

"Buck up," Evelyn said to her one day as they were walking the mostly empty corridors of the school, "If he's got any sense then he'll forgive you right away."

"You don't get it Eve," Lily said. "I'm the one who wronged him- it's all _my _fault."

"But you're sorry, and that's the main thing!" Evelyn argued, "You know, I bet he's having a big think about it at home right now, and as soon as he gets back to school everything'll be back to normal!"

"I wish I could be as optimistic as _you_," Lily said, smiling ruefully. "Unfortunately, I'm realistic, and-" They both stopped in their path, as an unpleasant surprise awaited them around the corner. Stephanie Brocklehurst- she too, had stopped at the sight of Lily and Evelyn and then plastered a "holier-than-thou" expression on her face.

Lily had not talked to Stephanie since she found out the truth of what happened on the Quidditch pitch from Jack. But at the sight of the girl who had lied and thrown herself at James, she felt her blood begin to boil.

"Hello there," she said. "What are you up to?"  
Lily didn't answer right away, feeling it would be too dangerous. Evelyn did, though.

"Hello _Stephanie_. Come to spread some more lies about your-" she snorted, "_relationship_ with James?"

Stephanie raised her eyebrows. "I don't know what you're talking about, _Evelyn._ My relationship with James is completely and utterly honest." She shot a triumphant smirk at Lily. Evelyn prepared to go and rip out Stephanie's ringlets, but Lily once again, grabbed her in time to stop her doing something stupid. To her great surprise, she felt an amazing calm spread over her, even though usually the sight of that horrible smirk on Stephanie's face made Lily want to slap her. But now, instead of thinking "_Oh my god, I hate her SO much_", Lily was thinking, "_Oh my god. What an idiot_." Stephanie was deluding herself into believing that James loved her- though Lily knew James probably didn't love _herself_ any more, Stephanie had forced him into something he clearly hadn't wanted to do. And yet here she was claiming complete and total relational bliss. She was completely barking mad! Whereas before for Stephanie Lily had only felt an immense hatred, now she just felt pity. A smile stretched across her face. Stephanie raised her eyebrows at Lily haughtily, as if to ask, _"And who on earth gave you the right to smile, Lily Evans?"_

Aloud, Stephanie said, "What's so funny?"

Lily grinned at her. "Your ego. It's even bigger than your head- and, between you and me, Steph-" she leaned forward and dropped her voice to a whisper, "_That's_ saying something."

Stephanie narrowed her eyes at Lily. "You little witch," she snarled, "You're just jealous because I can keep a boyfriend and _you_ can't."

"Oh, nice insult Stephanie- so you figured out I'm a witch, well done," said Lily rolling her eyes, 'And yes, I know you can keep a boyfriend- it's just that no one else can see him."

"Oooh!" Evelyn said, now grinning, "Meow, Lily!"

Lily shot her friend a smile as Stephanie struggled not to choke on her rage and think of a suitable comeback.

"Oh that's rich, coming from _you_, she said finally, "I mean, in case you hadn't noticed I'm the one who has a boyfriend, while you cling to some pathetic pipe dream of getting back together with him!"

The hypocrisy of her statement merely made Lily smile. "I suppose that would be terrible from your point of view- after all, you're one of those girls who believe they're only worth as much as their boyfriend in the social set."

'What would _you_ know about being social?" Stephanie sneered, "All you do is stay up in Gryffindor tower studying all day- you care more about books than people!"

"At least books offer some sort of use," Lily said calmly, "However, the only thing you care about Stephanie- yourself, that is- can offer no use at all, I'm afraid."

At this Evelyn began to laugh. Stephanie narrowed her eyes at her and then turned her venom gaze back to Lily. Her eyes were by now so narrow they were slits in her face. "Well, obviously James doesn't think so," she said smugly, "he thinks I'm worth a million pounds- he said so."

Lily raised her eyebrows, knowing instinctively that James would have said no such thing. "Stephanie- you honestly think that I care? You know, your problem is you care so much about the opinion of other people that you forget everyone else is independent enough to live their own lives, and doesn't _care_ what your boyfriend said to you. You may think you're in control but really, you're living a life run by the social demand. Well, I'd like to know what you're going to do after graduation, Stephanie. No prospects, no grades, no social ladder to claw your way up, no "lesser" human beings to pick on, and most of all, no one to care that you happen to be going out with a Quidditch player." She stared right into Stephanie's malevolent hazel eyes. "I pity you, Stephanie, I really do."

Stephanie stared at her, speechless, for a good five seconds before Lily shrugged, sighed and made to walk past her. Then, unable to resist letting Stephanie know her web of lies had been uncovered, Lily stopped. "Oh, and by the way, Stephanie- 'I don't need her, I need you?" she shook her head. "Grow up. Where'd you get that line from, a muggle soap opera?"

Evelyn let out another peal of laughter before running after Lily, who was striding down the passage way, her head held high.

"That was bloody brilliant," Evelyn declared as she caught up to Lily.

Lily grinned. " I know I shouldn't have enjoyed that. It was petty and stupid and wrong and won't do anything to budge her tiny little mind from the frame it's in."

"But it felt good, though, didn't it?" Evelyn said, grinning devilishly. The girls looked at each other and then collapsed into giggles, leaning on the stone wall. For a while, they couldn't stop.,

"I fear I may have come at an unwelcome time," said a voice suddenly. Lily opened her eyes. It was Dumbledore.

"Oh- I'm s-sorry, excuse us Professor," Lily said, struggling to regain control and straightening up immediately. 

"Do you mind if I ask what the joke is?" he asked curiously, a twinkle in his blue eyes.

"Uh-" Evelyn and Lily exchanged a glance. 'You wouldn't get it, Professor," Evelyn said. Dumbledore nodded. 

"Ah- of course. I'm sorry, Miss O'Kelly, but I wondered if I might be able to accompany Miss Evans back to Gryffindor Tower alone."

Evelyn looked at Lily, then at the professor, "Sure thing, professor, no problem."

"Thanks you, my dear." Dumbledore put a hand on Lily's shoulder and led her down the corridor in the direction Lily had just came. She was glad to see that Stephanie had cleared off- probably to the Ravenclaw common room to bitch about Lily to her friends.

"You're not having a very Merry Christmas, are you, my dear?"

Lily looked up at Dumbledore, not really that surprised. Dumbledore seemed to know everything that went on in Hogwarts, especially if it concerned her and James. Dumbledore looked at her and smiled sympathetically. "I doubt Mr. Potter is, either. He's lost a great many things this year…" a troubled sigh escaped the old man's throat, "His final year of school, as well. When one is supposed to have the time of one's life. You should be enjoying it, Lily."

"I know Professor," Lily said sadly. "But…there's too much other stuff going on. I don't have time to have the time of my life. What with study and…James, and…and everything."

"Miss Evans," said Dumbledore, smiling kindly, "you should know that I have absolute confidence in your abilities. I am assured that if you cut down your own study time by half, you would still top the year."

"Except James," said Lily, '"but he doesn't study much at all."

"I know, and have been approached by Minerva, asking me to give him some advice on how to study. Far be it from _me_ to give study pointers," the headmaster said, "I was easily distracted in my own youth, and I was lucky to get any study done at all." Lily looked up at the headmaster, agape. Surely he was joking- he didn't look like it. He smiled at her kindly, though, and said, "One does not need perfect grades to go far, Miss Evans."

Lily looked down at her feet. Coming from Dumbledore, a man who had achieved such great things in his own right, the advice seemed almost sensible. But, on the other hand, she couldn't afford _not_ to study- grades were all she had. She couldn't' do anything else, being, as she was, not much of an athlete, too shy to perform and too sensible to spout poetry. True, she handled a broomstick almost as well as James himself but had declined a position on the Quidditch team, fearing it would get in the way of her studies- in which she could base an entirely secure future. She couldn't even get up the courage to tell James how sorry she was- all she could do was yell it at him as a train sped him away from. She couldn't even get him off the stupid train. She shook her head. 'I don't know Professor- I don't think I'm much good at anything else."

"I don't know," mused Dumbledore, "I happened to see you chasing after the Hogwarts express the other day, and I must say it was the finest example of cross country running I ever saw."

Lily smiled despite herself. "But I didn't catch him, Professor…I stuffed up. I couldn't stop him." She shook her head again, 'Like I said, I'm not much good at anything apart from school."

"But, remember Miss Evans, it is our choices, rather than our abilities, that show our true strengths. And you, my dear, have an amazing knack for telling the truth." He stopped suddenly, and turned to her- Lily realised with a shock that they were in front of the portrait hole- she'd been so absorbed in her talk with Dumbledore she hadn't even noticed. He turned to her, and handed her a purple envelope. Lily took it and looked up at him, puzzled.

"Just think of it as a late Christmas present," he said gently. "You're an honest, open person, Lily. You owe the truth to him." And with that, he gave her one last twinkling smile, and walked off down the corridor. Lily slit open the purple envelope with trembling hands. Inside was one ticket for the Knight Bus- from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to Dorset.

*

James walked out of the hospital gates, feeling happier than he had in a long, long time. Happier than he had since he had gone back to Hogwarts. It had only been four months ago, yet it seemed so much longer…

He wrapped his cloak tighter around himself as a chilly wind blew leaves across the snow-laden ground. He would walk back to Glencoe- it was only half an hour's walk- he would owl Sirius and Remus to tell them the good news, and then he would get some sleep. It felt like he hadn't slept easy since August. But that had been the start of all the trouble, he realised, when his mother went in for that first test. For the first time since then, everything seemed so much better. Since the news that his mother was going to recover the previous day, he felt like he hadn't stopped smiling. Neither had his dad. Yesterday, when Mr. Potter had been told the news of his wife's health, he had wept from sheer happiness.

Another smile crossed his face as he walked through the main, cobbled street of the town. It was such a great feeling to be really, truly happy. 

__

But you're not, he reminded himself. It was true. He couldn't be truly happy unless he had Lily. He could admit it to himself- he needed her because he still loved her. It was good to get it off his chest- if only to himself- but it was a very depressing feeling knowing that he could never have her back. He'd ruined any chance he'd had with her by letting Stephanie Brocklehurst kiss him. _If I only I weren't so…weak. If only I was strong like her, none of this would have ever happened. I must be the only man in the world who lets himself cry._

Yet again, his mind strayed to when he had last seen her, running alongside the train. He couldn't stop himself dreaming about what it meant- could it be that she was running to see him because she wanted to get back together?- but he tried to dispel as many of his theories as possible. He couldn't allow himself to get hopeful, or it would be an even bitterer disappointment when he would finally get it through his skull that she wanted nothing to do with him.

It was the middle of the day, but the town was fairly deserted. Most people, James surmised, were inside keeping warm. It _was_ cold, but James continued walking through the town and out onto the road that led out of it into the wilder part of the countryside anyway, kicking up snow with his boots so that it glittered in the weak winter sunlight. Hurried footsteps crunching towards him prompted him to look up. A girl was running along the path towards him, head bent, arms wrapped around herself to keep warm. She had a hat on so he couldn't see her face, but, he thought, she must have been cold, wearing only a sweater and jeans.

"Careful!" he cried, as she nearly barrelled into him. He held out his arms to steady her.

"I'm sorry, I-" The girl suddenly gasped and turned. "James?"

James felt the world stop around him. It was Lily. It was _Lily?_ "L-Lily?" She took off her hat, letting her hair fall down around her shoulders. "Wha-What're you _doing _here?"

"What are _you_ doing here? I thought you were meant to be at the hospital!"

"No, I'm walking home to get some sleep, because-" he stopped and shook his head. "Hold on- his is bizarre. You're supposed to be at Hogwarts- what are you doing running into the village?"

She opened her mouth, shut it again, and took a nervous step back. She was still breathless from running "Um, I came on the Knight Bus. Dumbledore, um, gave me…a ticket."

"He did?" James said, by now thoroughly confused. "Oh…" There passed between them a long silence in which neither of them met the other's eyes. "Um…how are you?" James said finally.

"F-fine…" Lily said, breathing hard still. "And you? How's your mum?"

"Good, great. She's, um, going to be all right."

Lily's face lit up. "You mean she's not going to…?" James shook his head and grinned. Lily grinned too.

"Oh, James! That's- that's so wonderful! How did it happen?"

James shrugged. "Christmas miracle?" He stuck his hands in his pockets. "I was just walking home then."

"Oh…I…went to your house but they told me you were at the hospital…so I was going there."

"Oh," said James, feeling a little surge of happiness. _She came to see _me. _But why?_

"James," said Lily suddenly, "I…we…there's, um, something I've got to say…" She was still breathless, but not from the running. Her nose and cheeks were rosy with the cold, and her breath was coming out in little puffs of steam. James stared into her face. "Y-yes?"

"I…I…" Lily was having trouble getting it out. She looked as though she would burst into tears at any second. "I'm- I'm not really sure how to say this, um…" She fiddled with the hat in her hands and then, looked up into his eyes. 

"I'm sorry," she said, wretchedly. "I'm sorry about…everything. I'm sorry I did homework instead of being with you. I'm sorry I told you to grow up and sort out your own problems. I'm…I'm sorry I got jealous. I'm sorry I didn't listen when you tried to explain- I'm sorry I didn't think you'd be able to explain, I'm so sorry, James, I..." There were definite tears blossoming in her eyes now. "Everything, it's all my fault. If hadn't been so stupid and cruel and selfish and only thinking of my grades then we wouldn't be…like this. I'm so very sorry. I feel so…" she gave a little sob and covered her face with her hands. "I'm sorry- don't look at me like this."

"Wh-why not?" James said, finally finding words. He desperately wanted to reach out and comfort her…

"Because, I know that you'll feel sorry for me and want to comfort me, because that's the kind of sweet, beautiful person that you are, and I don't deserve to be comforted by you after everything I've done this year. I've been so mean and horrid and I just wish we could go back to the start of the year so I could try again…" The tears seem to subside a bit, and she uncovered her face, sniffling. She looked up at him again. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I was getting mad at you for keeping secrets you have every right to keep, when the truth is I was keeping secrets from you as well, and I wish I'd told you…"

"You were?' said James, surprised. "But…why?"

Lily wiped her eyes with her sleeve and looked right into his eyes. "The truth is, I…I…love you…more than I've ever said. More than I thought was possible, more than anything- I'm in love with you, James. I tried not to be, all this time, just so I could stay mad at you and not feel bad for what I've done- but I couldn't help staying in love with you. I'm sorry…" she added finally, and dropped her gaze to the ground. 

James couldn't speak for a while. He wanted to yell "_Lily, I love you too!_" but somehow the words got stuck in his throat. He couldn't do that. He had forgiven her in a second, but could she do the same for him?

"I'm…I'm sorry too," he said hoarsely. Lily, who looked like she had been expecting the worst, raised her eyes. "I'm sorry for expecting you to be at my side twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. I'm sorry I expect you to be able to sort out all my problems. I'm sorry I haven't told you the truth- I've deliberately kept a secret from you, that, really Lily, you have every right to know. And for that I'm sorry. And I'm so, so, so very sorry for kissing Stephanie Brocklehurst. I'm sorry you can never forgive or trust me again. I'm sorry I've been pretending to go out with her for the past few weeks when all the while I haven't been able to get you out of my head. I'm sorry I said, "I love you" so often that the words lose meaning. But you have to believe me, Lily, right now…" He looked at her longingly. "I'm in love with you too. I…I love you so much sometimes it hurts that I can't be with you. I'm only truly happy when you're with me, Lily. You're…you're my other half. I can't live without you. I'm trying as hard as I can right now not to run at you and hug you as tight as I can, but it's really difficult," he smiled, and Lily choked out a laugh, "I think that if I loved you much more I'd spontaneously combust. Believe me, Lily- I love you." He smiled at her adoringly. "Please, let me hug you now because if I don't soon I'm going to die."

She flew into his arms and wrapped her arms tightly around him, burying her face into his shoulder. James hugged her back- as tightly as he could. He had her in his arms again, and the world seemed so much better with her familiar smell, her familiar touch, her long thick hair. He took her face in his hands and kissed her cold cheeks, her cold nose, her forehead, raining dozens and dozens of kisses upon her face. She was kissing his face too- they were both crying now, James couldn't stop the tears of happiness coursing down his cheeks. And between kisses and tears they made breathless apologies, more declarations of love- they could have stayed like that forever, standing together and crying together and kissing each other. It wasn't long. Though, before they ran out of breath and simply held each other, crying the rest of their happy tears and breathing in each other's love. James felt Lily shivering and wrapped his coat around her, kissing her hair. She looked up at him, right into his eyes.

"I love you, Lily," he whispered. She leant up and kissed him tenderly on the lips. She didn't need to say, "I love you too" because he could feel it in the way she kissed him and held him as though she could never let go.

*

And after that James and Lily talked. They talked more honestly than they had done in months, all the way back to Glencoe. Lily told James all about how Jack O'Kelly had seen what had really happened, how she had thought that he didn't love her, and therefore felt compelled to push him away. She explained that she had tried to catch up with him at the Hogwarts Express, but hadn't known what to say. She explained that she had always been jealous of Stephanie, and had been worried at the way she flirted with him. Lily had thought the stories Stephanie had been spreading were true, and never bothered to go and find out the real version from James.

"Jack," said James, shaking his head. "What a champ that kid is. I just wish he'd spoken up sooner."

"Me too,' said Lily hanging her head. "But it was my fault for not listening to you."

"Hey, don't say that," James said sternly. "I think we should put it behind us, and some day, we'll book on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject."

James told Lily all about Stephanie Brocklehurst's attempts to flirt with him during their tutoring session and how he had tried his hardest to put her off. He told Lily all about how shocked Remus and Sirius had been after learning that James had kissed Stephanie, and how ashamed he had felt. How he had felt so unbelievably alone, with the deterioration of his mother and drifting away from Lily.

"…and if we're being perfectly honest," he said, when they had reached the large wooden doors of Glencoe, "I don't think I've ever been more miserable than when I wasn't with you."

"Well, as long as we're being perfectly honest," said Lily, grinning, "I think, since we broke up, I haven't smiled once."

"And as long as we're being perfectly, divinely honest, my dear," said James, taking her by the hand and pulling the golden handle of the doors, "I never wanted to break up in the first place." He tugged her into the hallway, laughing as he hung up his coat and her scarf on the coat stand. Nancy the maid came in and asked if he needed anything.

"No thanks Nance," said James, "But could you make up the spare room next to mine for Lily? Thanks." Nancy bobbed a curtesy and wandered off. Lily giggled as James pulled her up the wooden, spiralling staircase all the way to the third floor of the house, where James' room was.

"Oh, so you've just assumed I'm staying, have you?" she said, grinning, and James spun her under his arm.

"You're only too welcome. My dear Evans," said James, "as long as you can put up with us." He spun her again, held her close, and dipped her to the ground.

"Well, I suppose I can put up with such humble surroundings for another week," Lily said, poking her tongue out at him. James chased her into his room, caught her in his arms, and pulled her, giggling, onto his bed.

"As long as we're being, perfectly, flawlessly, utterly and wonderfully honest, my lovely Lily," James said kissing her, "I think I should tell you now that I'm serious about you." He looked into her eyes. "It should be said that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I mean…we were only apart for a month and we…well, I was completely miserable." He looked into her beautiful eyes and kissed her again, softer this time. "Lily Evans, I love you," he said softly, "and after graduation, I want you to stay with me forever."

Lily smiled tremulously. "Well, as long as we're being perfectly, faultlessly, impeccably, exquisitely honest, my dear Mr. Potter- I think life without you…would really suck." James giggled, and it wasn't long before Lily joined in. 'I'm sorry, I ruined the moment, didn't I?"

"No, no, the moment's still there," said James, kissing her forehead. "Kind of."

They talked long into the night. They talked about Remus- when James told her the secret of Remus' disappearances Lily revealed she had suspected as much. James told her about the passage from the Whomping Willow to the Shrieking Shack, how Remus hated his transformations so much he practically hated himself, how he was afraid to tell Evelyn because he thought she would hate him, and how, in their second year, they had decided to do something to help him. And he transformed into the stag in front of her, to show her exactly what they had done. She had screamed when a stag appeared in the room and then turned back into James, but sat and listened, open mouthed, as James told her all about turning into Animagi. He expected her to get mad or lecture him, or break up with him again- but she didn't.

"James- you know what you've done is…just incredibly dangerous and illegal, don't you?" she said, raising her eyebrows at him. James nodded nervously. There was a look on her face very reminiscent of Professor McGonagall, and he an idea he was about to be for a serious reprimanding. "But," she said, and suddenly she smiled, "It's also really amazing. You've done some very powerful magic and you did it all for Remus. I can't deny it worries me that you're out traipsing the grounds with a werewolf- but I'm proud of you." She stood up and took his hands. "This is why I love you. You're one of the most generous, giving people I know, and I hope you never change."

James smiled, feeling a bit weak with relief. "Thanks. Crikey, I thought I was done for then." Lily grinned and kissed him- they stayed like that until Lily suddenly broke away with a laugh, "Oh my god, I get it!"

"Get…what?" James asked, confused.

"Your nickname! Prongs!" She laughed again. "I really am thick sometimes."

"Well, at least you're being perfectly honest with yourself about that," James teased. 

"Oh, shut up," Lily said. Once again, they brought their lips together in a long tender kiss. It was impossible to describe the sheer happiness and comfort they felt when they were together- it had only been a little more than a month but the separation had been unbearable for two people who loved each other as much as they did. 


	9. Where do I Go From Here?

****

CHAPTER NINE: WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?

The rest of the holidays passed quickly and happily, and it wasn't long before Mr. Potter was driving them both to London to meet the Hogwarts Express, which would drive them back to Hogwarts along with the other Hogwarts students who had gone home for Christmas. On the way there, Lily and James secured their own compartment, and James spent most of the journey telling her about the various secret passages he, Sirius and Remus had discovered and how they had gone on to write the Marauder's map. It was hard to find some privacy to talk about such secret things, though, as random students kept bursting in on them to say hello.

Perhaps it was those students who spread the word, for practically as soon as James and Lily had stepped foot in the entrance Hall, everyone seemed to know they were back together. The standard reaction was a hearty, "good for you two!" and slaps on the back. They went back up to Gryffindor Tower, where a lot of Gryffindors had already congregated. Most people were lazily enjoying the last day of the holidays, finishing off their Christmas sweets by the fire and idly struggling to do last minute homework, too involved in their activities to notice Lily and James walk in. They found Sirius, Remus and Evelyn in their usual corner with Jack O'Kelly, who was acting very strangely. "Hello," he giggled in a squeaky voice. "I am…the green goblin who lives in the pantry!" he dissolved into chuckles. Sirius and Remus grinned at each other. Sirius held out a glass of mead. 'Want some more, jack?"

"I don't know dear," jack hiccuped, "Do you think I can hold it?"

"Oh, we think you're fairly capable," Remus cajoled. "Come on, just one more glass…"

"You know, I really should object to you boys getting' my brother drunk," Evelyn said, examining her fingernails.

"So you've said," Sirius chuckled, as Jack downed the glass of mead.

"Where'd you get that mead, anyway?" Evelyn asked lazily.

"Ah- we finally cracked that "water to rum" spell we've been trying to do since first year," Sirius said, sniggering.

"Well, in that case, why aren't you drinking it yourselves?"

Sirius gasped and looked in horror at Remus. "Hey- _she's right_! Why _aren't_ we drinking it ourselves?"

Remus shrugged, looking bewildered, "I don't know, it was your idea!"

Lily and James exchanged a look as Evelyn chuckled.

"All right," said James, 'What's going on here?" They looked up, mutual expression of astonishment crossing their faces. "James!" Sirius and Remus cried, both leaping to their feet. They looked at each other.

'I didn't know everyone got back today!" Remus cried.

"Oh Christ, is it the start of term tomorrow?" Sirius groaned. James grinned.

"You look…different. Did you get a haircut?" Evelyn asked, looking suspiciously at him. "Oh!" her jaw dropped as she saw the hand he was holding, and the person it was attached to. "Lily!"

There was a brief silence into which Jack gave yet another high pitched giggled and swayed in his chair and Sirius and Remus kind of gaped at them. 

"Are you…are you two-" Sirius started, but just then the portrait door swung open and a group of third years spilled in.

"Hey, you'll never guess what we saw on the train back!" one of them yelled into the lazy conversation that filled the room, "James Potter and Lily Evans are back together!"

"No way!" someone else cried, and there was a sudden burst of lively conversation. 

Sirius looked at James and Lily.

"Oh. Well I guess that answers my question. Nothing's more reliable than Hogwarts gossip," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh! James and lily!" someone cried, pointing them out. The common room, as one, turned to where James and lily stood, hand in hand, and burst into applause. James and Lily looked at each other again and exchanged identical smiles of exasperation and rolled their eyes.

James sighed. "Okay!" he yelled over the applause, "Settle down everyone." He waited for the applause to stop. 'Yes, we are back together, all right? I'm glad you're all happy for us, but really, it's not like it's your business." He gave the common room occupants a grin, however and then said, "even though I know it will be."

More cheers. Someone yelled, "Kiss!" and then the rest of the house soon picked up the chant. "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" Sirius was louder than anyone. James turned around to give him a dirty look, but suddenly, Lily pulled him down to her by his school tie and kissed him, right there, in front of the whole of Gryffindor. The applause was tumultuous- James couldn't help grinning. They broke apart, still grinning stupidly at each other as Sirius yelled for silence. "OY! QUIET FOR A BIT!" the rest of the house stopped cheering and settled their gaze on Sirius, who came and put a hand on James's shoulder. "Right. To be frank, I've had a shit of a year so far mainly because of these two being so full of angst and infecting me with it. Now they're finally back together, and everything seems to be okay, and it's the last day of holidays, our last chance to have a bit of fun before school starts again- I'd say it merits a good party, don't you?"

Judging by the roars of the crowd, the answer was an affirmative. James, Sirius and Remus disappeared for an hour or so and came back with their arms full of sweets and bottles of butterbeer- but this time, Lily knew how they had conjured up so much food. The Gryffindors partied long into the night, and could have done so until the dawn, but unfortunately, Professor McGonagall came in at about three am and broke it. The next day, teachers were found complaining about the amount of Gryffindor students falling asleep during class. The Gryffindor didn't mind being tired, though- they could never resist a good party, and the reunion of their head boy and girl seemed a sufficient reason as any. "This," Sirius explained to the huskily over breakfast the morning after the party, "is why I am so pleased to be in Gryffindor at this present time," before falling asleep in his bowl of cornflakes.

*

Time went on, of course- but things were different now. James started working to pick up his grades, while Lily made a conscious effort not to stress so much over school work. It was a bit of a role reversal on both their parts but they seemed much happier for it. Almost as though some cosmic natural order had been put back into place, the school seemed so content once more. After all, when Lily and James weren't together, things were just so very wrong.

The year truly was the time of their lives. Their seventh and final year of what had been, for all, an amazing adventure. After all, how could learning magic at Hogwarts not be? They were young people with magic coursing through their veins, with a love of life and a want for adventure. For after all, the deepest magic inside anyone, be they muggle or witch, is the love of life that make us what we really are. 

Stephanie Brocklehurst left James and Lily alone after that. The first time Lily saw her again after she and James got back together was in the corridor on the way to Charms- she saw them walking hand in hand, shot Lily the most hate-fIlled look she had ever received, and scurried off. "Oh my," said James, "I do believe she was trying to wish death on you, Lily."

"Hah- she wishes she could wish!" Lily said, laughing it off.

"I'll say," James said. He kissed her tenderly and said, "No one will ever harm you as long as I'm alive," not knowing that only a few years on, he would know just how true that was going to be.

Stephanie Brocklehurst married as soon as she left school, found out her husband was having an affair while she was pregnant with their daughter, divorced him and went back to her maiden name. 

Ingrid Bell and Ivan Abbot married of course, and eventually had a daughter named Hannah- how sweet. 

Oh yes, Severus Snape, by the way went on to study Potions in greater details and mastered the art of Potions making. As soon as he was named a Professor of potions, he applied for the job of Potions Master at Hogwarts and received it- and also went on to become Head of Slytherin. Greasy man, but smart.

As for Evelyn and Remus, they broke up after the Easter holidays in their seventh year- Evelyn had found out of Remus' curse and, true to her word, promised she would never let it get between them. It was Remus who asked for them to break up, too afraid that he would end up hurting her because of his transformations. They remained friends, though it was heart wrenching for both of them. At twenty, Evelyn O'Kelly married an Irish, muggle man named Seamus Finnigan, who left her while she was pregnant after finding out what she really was. She had a boy, and named him Seamus for his father. (Ha ha, that was twist, wasn't it? Bet you weren't expecting that.)

Remus himself never married- at the advice of Dumbledore, he went on to study and become a Professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts. His first real teaching job was at Hogwarts, about thirteen years later.

Sirius had designs on becoming a Quidditch Player- after he graduated from Hogwarts with flying colours in every subject but no idea what he wanted to do, he played for Puddlemere United for quite a while, until he was arrested for "murdering" Lily and James, and also Peter Pettigrew. He was sent to Azkaban for many years, until he escaped using his secret Animagi power and went back to Hogwarts to prove his innocence to at least one person.

And James and Lily, as we know, married and moved to a little cottage in Godric's Hollow. They had a son, and named him Harry James Potter. A year later they were murdered.

Perhaps it was the magic in their veins that made the young witches and wizards of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry so amazingly courageous, passionate and adventurous. But the fact was that Lily and James loved each other in a way that was strong and pure- they had a strong love for each other and their friends, and of course their son, who's mother's love protected him in the face of death itself. James and Lily became renowned in the Hogwarts walls for the strength and purity of their love, and though they died, the mark of their love left itself on their son, and their friends, proving that some love really does live on forever.

****

THE END


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